15+ Gut Busting Reasons to Skip Work That No One Will Get Mad At You For
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In the delicate balance of work and personal life, we’ve all encountered those brilliant excuses that let us step away without raising eyebrows. Some by accident, some not so funny and some. you might be able to use in the future. These are the excuses that seamlessly blend into our routines, giving us a breather without causing a fuss. Join us as we explore these discreet justifications that help us navigate work-life balance with finesse.
Getting Sprayed By A Skunk
A funny story was, “I got sprayed by a skunk. I tried to go to work after showering with Dawn dish soap, but my boss told me to go home. So I’d say getting sprayed by a skunk.”
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A second story was, “I called into work for getting sprayed by a skunk last week! My hair smelled bad the next day, and I was too paranoid to go to work, so I worked from home.”
Poop
One person shared, “I worked construction, and in two separate instances on two different crews, someone said they pooed their pants. Nobody questioned it, and they left. I do believe they did poo’d their pants, though, so you have to commit.”
Diabetes
To begin, a user replied, “Had a co-worker who had severe diabetes. One day, he left work early, saying he wasn’t feeling well. Another co-worker threw a huge hissy fit about it. The hissy fit about him faking an illness carried over to the next morning when we didn’t see him. We found out he died a couple of hours after getting home. That shut her up.”
Pet Deaths
A comment was, “In construction, dog dying. People will even give you presents when you get back. Construction workers love their dogs.”
Scurvy
An interesting answer was, “I called in to work and said I had scurvy. A couple of hours later, an FTD florist delivered a Bonzi lemon tree from my boss.”
Blood
One user replied, “Last time I called into work, it was a quick call. “Can’t make it in. Hit my head. Blood everywhere. The ambulance is on the way.” That one worked pretty well.”
Clean Socks
A funny reply was, “Guy at work phoned in to tell our boss he couldn’t make it in because he didn’t have no clean socks boss was speechless.”
Entertaining Excuses
One person shared, “Worked on a construction crew at one time with this one colorful character that just couldn’t get out of bed and to work on time but could do the work of two when he was on the job. He always had the most entertaining excuses for missing work that no one could be mad at him: “Ran over a rabbit and had to return home to put it in the freezer.” “Scored some weed that was so good I forgot what day it was.” And the coup de grace…”Woke up with my face in my girlfriend’s armpit and was afraid to open my eyes.”
Kid Problems
A user commented, “Something wrong with your kid. I’ve honestly thought about making up a kid just so I have an airtight excuse to cut out as often as my parent coworkers do.”
A second user replied, “Any pseudo emergency involving your kids (“my daughter has an earache! I have to pick her up from school”) will typically get a pass.”
Stomach Bug
A comment was, “Stomach bug is the best. You don’t get a doctor’s note for it, gone quickly, and people do NOT want you spreading it.”
Another comment was, “Yeah, it’s my go-to if I need a day off. “Spent the night going from my bed to the bathroom, not feeling well.” I use it 3-4 times a year when I need a “me day.”
Hair Issues
One person simply said, “Lice.”
Another person added, “Tell them you have lice, and they will ask you to stay home.”
Food Poisoning
Someone suggested, “Food poisoning. I’d rather be at work than this, honestly.”
Someone else said, “Food poisoning is always a great excuse. Hope you never actually get it, though.”
Covid
One user wrote, “COVID-19 worked great for a long time. I remember when I worked in a jail if we had a fever, we were required to not come in to work until we had gotten a negative test. The only problem was there was sometimes a week-long wait at the testing facilities. So you’d just get paid to wait to take a test, sometimes for a fever that was gone 24 hours after you had it.”
Period Problems
A detailed answer was, “Endometriosis. If anyone dares to question me, I describe in vivid detail how my mother had to have masses of clotted blood and tissue cut away from her internal organs with a scalpel because of it. People don’t tend to stand their ground after that.”
Another answer was, “Only awful people get angry for you having to take a day for whatever reason. I’d your female say your vagina is giving you issues to your male boss.. 99% of the time, they wish you well and hang promptly up.”
Allergic Reactions
Finally, a user replied, “I had a weird allergy breakout this summer that caused my face to swell up and look super gnarly even tho it didn’t hurt or itch or anything (meaning I could totally work). A simple selfie was enough for a “take all the time you need.” Source: Reddit
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.