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Motherhood Life Balance

15 Subtle Signs to Detect Someone Who Isn’t a Good Person

ByVictoria Cornell December 5, 2023December 5, 2023
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Assessing someone’s character isn’t always straightforward, as the subtle signs often paint the clearest picture. Whether you’re forging new connections or reevaluating existing ones, these nuanced hints can offer valuable insights. Here are 15 subtle signs that might indicate someone isn’t a good person, signs that go beyond the obvious:

Lack of Empathy

couple looking away from each other sitting on a couch upset
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Good-hearted individuals consistently exhibit empathy and genuine concern for others. Someone who never appears apathetic to the struggles or emotions of those around them should raise a cautionary flag.

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Excessive Self-Centeredness

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It’s natural to prioritize one’s needs occasionally, but if self-centeredness becomes a defining trait, where others’ needs and feelings are perpetually ignored, this is a warning sign. One woman said her best friend constantly thought of her needs first and would plan all events around herself. She soon decided it was time to let that friend go. 

Inconsistent Honesty

who will they believe
Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

Minor fibs are commonplace, but chronic dishonesty or contradictory stories can indicate deeper trustworthiness issues. If you constantly catch someone in a lie, that is a very large red flag! 

Negative Gossip

woman telling a man a secret
Image credits: Depositphotos rmarimon

Frequent engagement in malicious gossip or deriving pleasure from disparaging others speaks volumes about a person’s character and their tendency to foster negativity. Workplace gossip often happens, but if this person is constantly starting the gossip train or talking negatively about everyone and anyone, run. 

Intolerance

woman loking away upset with her hand up showing stop
Image credits: Depositphotos IgorVetushko

An individual’s inability to respect differences in beliefs, backgrounds, or opinions may signify a lack of open-mindedness and empathy. Nowadays, people need to start expanding their horizons to include people who are different than them, and if someone isn’t willing to do so. It may be time to say goodbye to them. 

Excessive Flattery 

woman pointing to a forced smile
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Be cautious of those who excessively flatter or compliment you, as their motivations might be driven by ulterior motives or a desire for personal gain. Flattery is often best in small doses that feel appropriate and sincere. 

Manipulative Behavior

woman looking disappointed holding up a thumbs down
Image credits: Depositphotos Pablocalvog.

Subtle manipulation tactics, such as guilt-tripping or assuming the role of the victim, can corrode trust and hint at concealed agendas. One man remembered that his girlfriend would always make him feel bad about going to see his family and eventually realized the 

Failure to Keep Promises

Talking About Ex: daughter facing away from talking mother girl looks upset and is sitting with her hands on her face.
Image credits: Depositphotos vadimphoto1@gmail.com.

Consistently reneging on commitments, regardless of their magnitude, erodes trust and reflects a lack of integrity and reliability. People who are constantly flakey, canceling plans, or making promises they can’t keep normally are pretty bad. 

Constant Criticism

one woman yelling and the other covering her ears
Image credits: Depositphotos VitalikRadko

Habitual criticism or belittling of others often conceals insecurities or a desire to exert control. No one wants someone who constantly criticizes them when they make a decision or try a new activity. 

Avoiding Accountability

A woman looking annoyed
Image Credit Depositphotos deagreez1

Sometimes, we have to take responsibility for our actions. We may say or do something that hurts or offends others. But if the person is constantly Refusing to accept responsibility for one’s actions and repeatedly placing blame on others, it indicates a reluctance to acknowledge mistakes.

Narcissism

woman looking confident pointing at herself
Image credits: Depositphotos ZemierZ

 A pronounced sense of self-importance and an insatiable need for validation can lead to toxic interactions. These types of people are often hard to reason with, and they often do not see when their actions are wrong or hurtful. 

Boundary Disregard

couple fighting on the couch
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Ignoring personal boundaries or coercing others into violating their own demonstrates a lack of respect for autonomy and individuality. Everyone has boundaries and people need to be respectful of them.

Isolation of Others

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Actively isolating individuals from their friends and family, a common tactic employed by manipulative or abusive individuals, should be viewed with skepticism.

Volatile Temperament

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Image credit: Depositphotos VitalikRadko.

Frequent mood swings, uncontrolled anger outbursts, or emotional instability can create a turbulent and toxic environment. One woman remembers her sister constantly on a roller coaster of emotions. She ended up cutting her out of her life because it was just too much manipulation and feelings. 

Lack of Accountability for Growth

Woman looking angry. WEaring buns on the side of her head
Image Credit: Depositphotos Vadymvdrobot.

Truly good-hearted individuals strive for personal growth and self-improvement. Those who show no interest in learning from their mistakes or evolving as individuals may not be genuinely invested in becoming better versions of themselves.

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Victoria Cornell
Website | + posts

As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.

While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.

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