Baby Names That Make You Want To Slap The Parents
Disclaimer: When you buy from links on our site, we may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more
Picking out a baby’s name is really difficult, especially when you aren’t using a family name or naming the child after someone. You run through a million names, dissect every name, and argue with your partner about why they shouldn’t like that name. A Redditor asked the internet, “What baby name makes you want to punch the parent in the face?” This thread blew up! Check out some of the craziest responses we found!
Punk Rock Names
One user said, “Sirius Trouble Britain. I swear this is real; my brother-in-law’s first wife named her son this.”
Affirmations
A second user shared, “I went to high school with two brothers named Wishes and Wonderful.”
This user added, “Special, Angel, Miracle, Precious, Symphony, Promise, Truly, Unique. What are people thinking?”
Live Up To Expectations
A Redditor said, “I know twins named Elite and Alpha. No, really.”
Godly Names
One user added, “I used to work with twins named Alpha and Omega. I had nothing against their names. They were nice women.”
Brand Names
Another user added, “My buddy was dating a chick named ‘Misty Cool.’ Sounds like a cigarette or some Gatorade flavor.”
Food Names
This Redditor said, “Lady who works at Sams by my house is named Lasagna. I did a double-take, and she got pissed. YOUR NAME IS LASAGNA; HOW IS THAT MY FAULT?”
“Cute” Names
Another Redditor said, “I found a Cutie P. *Lastname* once at my old job. I told myself, “her middle name is Pie; I know it is.” Sure enough, her middle name is Pie. “Cutie Pie” This is a middle-aged woman named Cutie Pie.”
Alcohol
This user added, “Sambucca. Just… Just don’t.”
Divine Names
This user said, “I know some girl named Heaven, and her middle name is Ly. Heaven Ly.”
After Cars
One user simply said, “Car names (e.x. Lexus).”
Hard To Understand
This Redditor shared, “My friends named their sons Atreyu Vonn Royal and Pharaoh Zorran Sphere. I call them both Steve in protest.”
Other Worldly
Another said, “Galaxy. And I just feel so bad for the child because she can only have two professions with that name: Astronomer or Prostitute.”
Social Media
This user shared, “I heard a story a few months ago that parents named their baby girl “Hashtag.”
After Drugs
A user said this, “My stupid (former) friend had a baby with a fellow heroin addict, whom they named Kilo (yup.) This guy then had another baby with a chick, and they named the little girl Aristotle.”
Gothic
One Redditor said, “I once knew of a goth girl who had a sh*t ton of tattoos and did the whole black boots and spiked belts, and she had a ton of piercings too. She named her kid Chaos.”
When It Fits…
A user shared, “A buddy of mine named his kid Ragnar. The kid is a bruiser now and was born owning more battle axes than I’ve owned in my entire life. Ironically his name kind of fits him.”
Tradition
Another Redditor shared, “I live in a German-speaking country and sincerely feel bad for kids living with names like Ashley-Sharmaine Fritzberger, Aaliyah-Phoebe Müllermeierich or Caydence-Melody Pfefferhausen. Poor, poor kids.”
Regional
This Redditor added, “South Texan here. All of my cousins’ names(on my mom’s side). Just a few examples: Cyeena, Dajah, Galaxy, Serenity, Abcidy, Davelynn, Iyannah…etc. Oh, and the latest newborn as of this week, Genesis Nessa.”
Combining Names
Finally, a Redditor said, “Anything where the parent squished two names together, for example, Carleen, Carl (dad’s name) + Aileen (mom’s name) = Carleen.”
Redditors came up with some names that really want you to punch the parents and yell why!?
15 Things That Will Die With The Boomer Generation
Boomers are something. The younger generations find them selfish and full of useless advice and tips. 15 Things That Will Die With The Boomer Generation
16 Things We Need To Stop Teaching Children Immediately
That said, not everything taught to children is either done with the best intentions. – 16 Things We Need To Stop Teaching Children Immediately
10 Things Boomers Passionately Dislike About Modern Society
10 Things Boomers Passionately Dislike About Modern Society – The list could probably go on forever. You might agree with some.
Mind the Gender Gap: 24 Expenses That Men Bear Alone in a World of Unequal Spending
Mind the Gender Gap: 24 Expenses That Men Bear Alone in a World of Unequal Spending – Men are often expected to pay for a lot of things when it comes to relationships.
Silly Things Boomers Say Daily
10 Annoying Things The Boomer Generation Says Daily Millennials and Gen Z often want them just to SHUT UP! So, What is something annoying the boomer generation always says to the younger generation?
10 Surprising Phrases Your Partner Is Using to Gaslight You
The word “gaslighting” is thrown around a lot these days. The purpose of gaslighting is to make someone believe they are crazy when in reality, they are not. – 10 Surprising Phrases Your Partner Is Using to Gaslight You