Baby Names That Make You Want To Slap The Parents
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Picking out a baby’s name is really difficult, especially when you aren’t using a family name or naming the child after someone. You run through a million names, dissect every name, and argue with your partner about why they shouldn’t like that name. A Redditor asked the internet, “What baby name makes you want to punch the parent in the face?” This thread blew up! Check out some of the craziest responses we found!
Punk Rock Names
One user said, “Sirius Trouble Britain. I swear this is real; my brother-in-law’s first wife named her son this.”
A second user shared, “I went to high school with two brothers named Wishes and Wonderful.”
This user added, “Special, Angel, Miracle, Precious, Symphony, Promise, Truly, Unique. What are people thinking?”
Live Up To Expectations
A Redditor said, “I know twins named Elite and Alpha. No, really.”
One user added, “I used to work with twins named Alpha and Omega. I had nothing against their names. They were nice women.”
Another user added, “My buddy was dating a chick named ‘Misty Cool.’ Sounds like a cigarette or some Gatorade flavor.”
This Redditor said, “Lady who works at Sams by my house is named Lasagna. I did a double-take, and she got pissed. YOUR NAME IS LASAGNA; HOW IS THAT MY FAULT?”
Another Redditor said, “I found a Cutie P. *Lastname* once at my old job. I told myself, “her middle name is Pie; I know it is.” Sure enough, her middle name is Pie. “Cutie Pie” This is a middle-aged woman named Cutie Pie.”
This user added, “Sambucca. Just… Just don’t.”
This user said, “I know some girl named Heaven, and her middle name is Ly. Heaven Ly.”
One user simply said, “Car names (e.x. Lexus).”
Hard To Understand
This Redditor shared, “My friends named their sons Atreyu Vonn Royal and Pharaoh Zorran Sphere. I call them both Steve in protest.”
Another said, “Galaxy. And I just feel so bad for the child because she can only have two professions with that name: Astronomer or Prostitute.”
This user shared, “I heard a story a few months ago that parents named their baby girl “Hashtag.”
A user said this, “My stupid (former) friend had a baby with a fellow heroin addict, whom they named Kilo (yup.) This guy then had another baby with a chick, and they named the little girl Aristotle.”
One Redditor said, “I once knew of a goth girl who had a sh*t ton of tattoos and did the whole black boots and spiked belts, and she had a ton of piercings too. She named her kid Chaos.”
When It Fits…
A user shared, “A buddy of mine named his kid Ragnar. The kid is a bruiser now and was born owning more battle axes than I’ve owned in my entire life. Ironically his name kind of fits him.”
Another Redditor shared, “I live in a German-speaking country and sincerely feel bad for kids living with names like Ashley-Sharmaine Fritzberger, Aaliyah-Phoebe Müllermeierich or Caydence-Melody Pfefferhausen. Poor, poor kids.”
This Redditor added, “South Texan here. All of my cousins’ names(on my mom’s side). Just a few examples: Cyeena, Dajah, Galaxy, Serenity, Abcidy, Davelynn, Iyannah…etc. Oh, and the latest newborn as of this week, Genesis Nessa.”
Finally, a Redditor said, “Anything where the parent squished two names together, for example, Carleen, Carl (dad’s name) + Aileen (mom’s name) = Carleen.”
Redditors came up with some names that really want you to punch the parents and yell why!?
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