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Yes, growing up, it is common for children to absorb their parents’ beliefs and notions as normal. However, as they mature, they may begin to question and realize that some of those beliefs were flawed or misguided, ranging from harmful ideologies to abusive behaviors. These realizations highlight the significant impact parents have on shaping their children’s perspectives and the importance of critical thinking in evaluating inherited beliefs.
A popular comment was, “Only TV families resolve their problems and apologize after a big fight. Real families just act like it never happened.”
One person said, “Men use their heads and hands for the will of god. Women use their hearts and bodies for the will of man.”
A user commented, “Whenever we went to a yard sale, my parents would say that they were going to “Jew them down” on price. I literally had no idea until I was an adult that they were saying “Jew.” I thought it was some other word like “joo.”
A second user added, “My mom used to say things like “Indian dot or Indian arrow” and “get your cotton-picking hands off” and similar racist statements to us as kids. Yikes.”
One replied, “If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you, and you need to pray for forgiveness. I was 6, and my cat had just died.”
One ridiculous comment was, “Someone I know was told growing up that only bad girls use condoms.”
One user replied, “I remember my sisters and I all getting a talk about how when women dress provocatively, it’s her own fault if she were to get r*ped. Men can’t help themselves, which is why my family had such a strict dress code. When we bought new clothes, we would have to go show my dad, and he would make us walk around, sit, stand, and then decide if it was appropriate or not.”
A popular comment was, “That “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
A second comment was, “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips”
A comment read, “My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like, makes sense. I was around 4.”
One user replied, “My parents told me that I had a limited number of words, and when I got to that limit, I would die. I guess it was an easy way to make me shut up.”
One commented, “You have better balance, so you, the 10 year old, should climb up on the roof, clean the gutters, and sweep the chimney. Also, climb up to the top of the flagpole at the REC and fix the rope stuck in the pulley. And install new gutters, but I was 13 by then.”
A popular comment was,” Emotional self-sufficiency. In other words, don’t show your emotions, don’t feel your emotions, and don’t be swayed by others’ emotions. Empathy is bad and for the weak.”
A user replied, “Upon hearing stories of my childhood, my husband had to break it to me that it was not, in fact, normal for moms to share their anti-psychotic meds (or “chill pills,” as she would call them) with their young children.”
One commented, “Anytime I felt hurt by a conflict with a friend, my parents would tell me never to talk to them again because they aren’t real friends anyway. I ghosted all of my best friends, thinking it was the right thing to do.”
A comment was, “ My dad was “teaching” me about credit cards and said you could just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month, and he’s drowning in credit card debt.”
One user replied, “My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older, and people told me to just “do my best.”
Finally,“ My dad always told me ‘work will set you free’. Do your chores. Work will set you free, do your homework because work will set you free. This went on for about a decade until I came back from history at school and asked him why it was on the entrance to Auschwitz.”
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.