Boomers Say We “Lazy Parent” But Here’s Why They’re Wrong
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Young parents in 2023 are used to facing critics from all angles. If it isn’t people online telling them that they are bad parents, it is their own parents telling them that they did things “this way” back when they were dealing with tantrums and misbehaving kids.
One accusation that a lot of young parents face in today’s day and age is that of “lazy parenting.” Due to how easily accessible technology and screens now are, it is often easy to just put your screaming kids in front of a screen, and it can sometimes have the desired effect of calming them down.
Despite this, many people believe this is an example of “lazy” parenting, and as a result, many parents try and avoid doing it at all costs. For those parents who do try and avoid doing anything that is considered “lazy,” we have some news for you – a child development psychologist in London has found that less is often more when it comes to parenting.
Dr. Jenna Vyas-Lee, who works with families every day of her life, is a specialist in child development. One of the biggest takeaways from her experiences is that a more hands-off, “lazier” parenting style can often benefit children. Here are her four biggest tips for perfecting lazy parenting and why it works:
Let Siblings Squabble
According to Dr. Vyas-Lee, you should sit back and refrain from intervening when your children are squabbling with each other. She says that if you interject, then “you are actually taking away a valuable learning opportunity. It’s better to sit back and let them work it out together.”
Don’t Offer Boredom Solutions
Kids are forever saying they are bored, regardless of what they are doing. Instead of scrambling around to find solutions for their boredom, you should say, ‘That’s great – you’re giving your brain a rest. Go and think about what you’d like to do. This will allow them to think about what interests them rather than having you do it for them.
Fight Away the Guilt
A big issue that modern-day parents face is guilt. If you have a voice telling you that you should be doing more for your child or being more productive with them, then pause and ask yourself, “What’s broken here? Do I need to insert myself into this situation?” The answer is often no.
Take time to do things you enjoy
It’s healthy for children to know that you aren’t going to drop everything for them, particularly when they are past a certain age. If they are asking for entertainment, it’s not harmful to sometimes say, “Not right now. I’m having a rest.”
In addition to these four key tips, Dr. Vyas-Lee is also vocal about the mental health benefits that a more hands-off approach can have for both parents and children. Explaining why, she said
“Parents come to me because they want an expert to give them information, but almost every single time, their homework is to stop. Stop reading parenting books, stop listening to podcasts, delete the parenting accounts off your Instagram, and just go for an ice cream or watch television with your kids.
This pressure creates low mood and anxiety, particularly among mothers. It’s a strong statement, but I do think there’s a strong correlation between overparenting and mental health issues in families and among parents.” More from Motherhood Life Balance:
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