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Recently a bride-to-be shared that she and her fiancé have been happily together for around three years, and their wedding is sometime in 2025. However, the couple has faced many challenges, primarily because of the pandemic.
He has a five-year-old son and an eight-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Recently, the couple has been discussing wedding plans. This time, a topic that came up was the wedding party.
The man expressed his excitement about having his children as part of the wedding party since his son would be one of the groomsmen.
However, his fiancé hadn’t even considered his daughter as a bridesmaid.
She expressed that it isn’t that she doesn’t enjoy his daughter’s company since she is caring, kind, and well-behaved.
Instead, the woman assumed that a young girl wouldn’t want to stand in front of everyone for the entire wedding ceremony. On top of that, she has many friends she wants to include.
Initial Wedding Plans
The bride-to-be significantly paired down her initial list and already hurt some of her best friend’s feelings. Additionally, she had already told those on the list that they would be bridesmaids. So including his daughter meant hurting and potentially losing a close friend.
An argument ensued, discussing whether or not it’s fair that his son is included but his daughter is left out. The man was very emotional and felt his daughter would feel betrayed and excluded from the family. However, the woman did not feel it was her problem to solve since he included his son with the groomsmen.
She suggested that his daughter be the flower girl in the ceremony. Her fiancé heavily protested because he believed she would be too old by 2025. Considering his daughter would only be ten years old, she did not understand his reasoning.
Their relationship took a turn for the worst in the coming weeks. The couple had less and less interaction because the man was angry about the argument.
He developed a cold shoulder towards her, which evolved into him claiming she does not care about his kids, who she has known and helped raise for a long time. Understandably, this was a severely painful experience.
She does want his daughter to be involved, just not as a bridesmaid. It doesn’t fit with their current plan, and she wants to include her lifelong friends in her bridal party. Do you think she is in the wrong? Here is how the internet responded.
Several People Thought the Bride Was Wrong
Many people believed the bride-to-be was unfit to be a stepparent and that she should be ashamed of herself for not including his daughter in her wedding party.
Others Suggested Making Her a Junior Bridesmaid
One woman suggested making her a junior bridesmaid. “She gets a pretty dress and a bouquet but doesn’t stand with your party. And she gets to walk up the aisle before the actual bridesmaids.
You are marrying someone who has children. They will be a part of his life forever; why are you working so hard not to include them in his day? Because it’s not all about the bride.”
Another agreed, “This is the move. You can include your fiancé’s daughter in hair and makeup, the limo, and plenty of little ways that could make her feel special and wanted on this day, which is very significant for her too. As a parent, these things need to matter to you.”
Finally, a third added, “Junior bridesmaid would be a super easy way to include her. Having her participate in all the get-ready activities is also an excellent idea.”
However, Many People Agreed With the Bride
“They will both be young enough to be a flower girl and ring bearers. Any age below thirteen should get the kid roles,” one replied. “It doesn’t make sense to me that an eight-year-old will be a groomsman. Is he going to escort a fully-grown bridesmaid down the aisle?
Let kids be kids! Being a bridesmaid is a ton of responsibility, but being a flower girl is fun! But bridesmaids don’t get a basket full of petals or bubbles to blow.”
Another bride-to-be admitted, “Coming from someone also planning a wedding, it is YOUR choice who you have in your party just like it is HIS choice to have his son as part of his groomsmen’s party.
I’ve always found it odd to have children as part of the wedding party. For example, I was at a wedding where the groom had his eight-year-old brother as a groomsman. It was incredibly frustrating because he didn’t want to stand in line, let alone anything else.”
Finally, a third added, “I agree with this. When did this decision get taken away from the bride anyway? I see many conflicts like this, but the bride should choose her side of the wedding party.
Also, suppose the rest of the bridesmaids are grown women. In that case, this child will be and feel left out of other events, so there’s no reason not to create a role that makes her feel special and honors her place in the bride’s life.”
Ultimately, the bride-to-be announced after reading through the comments she will include her fiance’s daughters as a junior bridesmaids in her wedding party. What do you think?
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Image Credit: Deposit Photos – ljsphotography.