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Growing up, it’s normal to feel like your parents are being too controlling and overprotective at times. As you get older, you start to understand that they only ever had your best interests at heart.
A user on Reddit users (19F) has recently hit a breaking point with her mom (53F) about her curfew. She believes as an adult; she should be trusted to make decisions for herself.
An Issue of Trust
The original poster (OP) explains that she turns 20 in two months’ time and believes she is old enough and mature enough for her mom to trust her a little bit more. She has a curfew of 10 pm, and her mother is super strict in enforcing it.
Recently, OP entered a relationship and asked her mom if she could stay the night at her new boyfriend’s house. Her mom reacted badly and told her that it wasn’t safe to be sleeping with someone so early in a relationship. While OP understands that her mom is only trying to keep her safe, she believes that telling her about the relationship was a mistake.
OP’s mom has always had issues when it’s come to OP talking to boys. She once got told off for merely commenting on a boy’s Facebook post, and it all stems from her own experiences with men, particularly OP’s father.
He was an alcoholic and abusive toward her and was pregnant at the age of 16. Ever since that relationship ended, she has been super protective over OP when it comes to dating and sex.
Nowadays, the situation is arguably worse than ever. OP recently got home at 10:40 pm (40 minutes past her curfew), and her mom was sitting at the front door waiting for her. When she got through the door, she instantly started asking her why she had been out so so late and if her boyfriend had hurt her.
Although OP appreciates the concern and doesn’t doubt that it’s coming from a place of love, she wants to be able to live her life freely as a 19-year-old woman. She took to Reddit to ask if there was anything she could do to her make her mom relax.
Words of wisdom
Many of the users in the comments were quick to tell OP that if she wants complete freedom over her life and the decisions she makes then she is going to need to move out of her mom’s house. One person summed this up quite by saying:
“If you want to not be under her rules, leave the house. As you said, you’re an adult. So be an adult. Leave and live like an adult.”
Moving out at 19 isn’t easy, however, so thankfully, there were others who offered other solutions to the problem. One user said:
“Ask your mom, ‘what do you need to see from me that would prove to you that I make good choices and can be trusted with more autonomy?’ Then listen to her answer because she’s going to give you a list of stuff that has probably been in your blind spot for a while.”
Arguably the best response came from someone who suggested that a trip to family therapy could do the trick. They said:
“Go to family therapy together so that she can heal and you can tell her how you feel. Then with a therapist, you can work on stage-by-stage steps to help her let go.”
What do you think? Should OP even have a curfew as an adult, or is her mom well within her rights to be concerned about her daughter while she’s still living at home? Let us know in the comments.
More from Motherhood Life Balance:
- Grandma Knows Best? NOT ALWAYS: Grandma gives Baby Medicine WITHOUT Mom’s Permission.
- 10 Stupid Annoying Phrases Women Hate Hearing From Men
As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.