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Recently on Reddit, a user came to the threads to share her story about not taking her daughter to her ex-husband’s wedding because he was too busy to pick his daughter up while getting ready.
The Divorce Details
The original poster (OP) and her ex-husband have been divorced for 5 years now. They were together for 20 years and share a 14-year-old daughter between them. OP went on to say that their marriage ended due to infidelity on his part and how she was devastated to find out because of all the time, love, and trust they had shared together for the 20 years they were together.
OP went on to say to make matters worse. Her ex ended up dating the woman he cheated on her with. OP’s ex-husband got engaged to this woman one year after their divorce was finalized, and they are set to be married within a few weeks. OP says she is still heartbroken over their divorce and that she is still hurting over the fact they were together for 20 years, and he just fell in love with someone else.
OP’s daughter was 9 when they divorced, and she says he is a great father and would never want to come in between their bond. She also goes on to say that their daughter loves her father’s fiancée, but she doesn’t know why her parents divorced. OP would like to tell her daughter when she’s a bit older, but her ex doesn’t want to tell her at all.
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A few weeks prior to the wedding OP and her ex compromised that their daughter could attend the wedding, but he would have to provide transportation to and from the wedding. OP says she cannot see all the decorations, happy guests, and reminders of their wedding because of the hurt she still feels toward the divorce. She did not share this with him.
Recently her ex-husband called to ask if she could drop their daughter off at the wedding because his future in-laws are flying in the morning of the wedding, and he has to pick them up. His fiancée can also not pick her up because she is getting her hair & make-up done. OP said she laughed at him and said there is no way she would take her daughter to the wedding as that was part of the compromise, and he would have to figure that out himself.
A few minutes after OP and her ex hung up the phone, her daughter ran downstairs crying, calling OP terrible and accusing her of not wanting her to spend time with her dad. OP responded that was not the case, but her daughter demanded to know why she couldn’t take her, but OP couldn’t answer. After this, OP’s ex-husband’s family began messaging her, calling OP “heartless,” and “cold,” for trying to ruin her ex’s special day over a relationship that is long over.
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One Redditor said, “NTA, but i also think your daughter is old enough to know the truth about her father otherwise, you will be the bad guy going forward.”
A second Redditor said, “any of the family that’s calling OP “heartless” can go pick them up.”
A third Redditor said, “it’s 100% a power-play on the ex’s part. It’s not enough that he cheated on OP and blew their family apart. He needs to rub his wedding in her nose and manipulate the daughter into thinking moms the bad guy. reprehensible. NTA”
Another Redditor said, “Seriously. They didn’t know until the day before the wedding what time and day the bride’s parents were flying in. And if the parents’ plans were so last minute, then they could figure out how to get from the airport to the wedding. Also…now I’m thinking…why aren’t the bride’s parents coming in the day before? They’re not going to the rehearsal dinner?”
Another Redditor shared, “OP, you’re letting Ex ruin your relationship between you and your daughter. I don’t think he does it on purpose, but it is really convenient for him. Moms are allowed to have feelings, too. And it’s good for a kid to see a mother standing up for herself and handling her feelings with honesty and grace. Don’t force her to believe that her mother puts her selfish ass before her daughter. That doesn’t only hurt but also affects a kid’s adult life and creates trust issues. Tell her that you love her and will never get between her and her dad. Tell her that even though you’re still hurt, and this would be too much for you to take. Explain that people can be more than just plain bad or good. Your ex was a bad husband but a great father. Reassure her that her feelings are valid but that she’ll never have to pick sides. And then apologize to her for letting her in the dark for so long. This matter affected her life, too. She deserves the truth. NTA, but talk to her.”
Redditors gave some honest and heartfelt advice to the struggling OP, and we hope she took some of it to heart. What do you think of this wedding issue? Would you suck it up and bring the daughter or stand your ground?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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