Sounding the Alarm: Her Husband Would Sleep Through an Earthquake, and she is his Personal Alarm Clock. How does she get him to Realize he Needs Medical Help?
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Being a deep sleeper certainly has its benefits, especially at the end of a busy week when a lie-in is all that you need. However, during the week, being a heavy sleeper often means missing important alarms and potentially being late for work. A Reddit user (27F) is currently experiencing issues with her husband (28M) relating to his ability to sleep through alarms. Let’s find out why she’s at her the end of her tether with him over it.
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Wanting him to Take Ownership of his Problem
The original poster (OP) explains that she has been with her husband for 3.5 years and for the duration of the relationship, she has been responsible for making sure that he doesn’t sleep through his alarms. While he has never directly asked her to do this, she knows that if she doesn’t do it then he will either be late for work or miss it completely.
OP’s husband is a paramedic, so the job is a) demanding and b) important. It also means that he works shifts which she believe has messed up his sleeping pattern. OP says that his alarms are so loud that even the neighbors have said in the past that they can hear them, however, he simply doesn’t budge when they go off.
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She doesn’t believe that he is irresponsible, she believes that he has a medical condition. He does suffer from sleep apnea and therefore wears a CPAP in bed but OP believes something else is at play.
Things reached boiling points the other day when he turned his phone off after OP was trying to get him up for work. He eventually got up later on in the morning but by then he was already late for work and blamed her for it.
She is upset and has told him that he needs to see a medical professional for treatment as she believes he’s suffering from a sleep disorder. So far he’s refused, which has led to OP asking the Reddit community for support on the situation.
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Support in the Comments
OP received a lot of support in the comments, with the vast majority of people sympathizing with her over the situation. One of the top comments came from a user who has been through something similar. They said:
“Your current arrangement is codependent. It’s not healthy or fair. I had a similar issue in a relationship and it took a therapist looking him in the eyes and saying ‘you’re an adult. You need to manage waking up on your own’. In end, when he realized I wouldn’t be his daily safety net, he figured it out.”
Instead of therapy, other users suggested that OP’s husband needed to go back to the medics who diagnosed him with sleep apnea. One user commented:
“How often does he have his CPAP machine calibrated and maintained? When was the last time he saw the pulmonologist or sleep physician for follow-up? He needs to back and tell them what is happening.
How would you resolve the situation if you were in OP’s shoes? Would refusing to wake him up be an unfair approach? Let us know in the comments.
We hope you enjoyed this Reddit thread. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.