Unfair Inheritance: The Emotional Fallout When a Father Refuses to Invest in Her Education

He won’t give his daughter the money put aside for her education because she currently doesn’t want to pursue her graduate degree and has other education plans.

Money For Education

A Redditor recently came to the internet to find out if he was being unfair about how to spend his adult daughter’s money that was set aside for her education. 

The original poster (OP) said that his parents had set aside a generous amount of money for his son and daughter to use for their college education. Both he and his wife have post-college degrees (Ph.D. & Masters), so they assumed their children would pursue higher education, including post-college degrees. 

Since OP and his wife both have post-college degrees, they decided only to use the money set aside for their children if they decided to pursue post-college degrees and not tell them about the money.

OP’s said his daughter has always had a passion for liberal arts, and she pursued her undergrad degree in music and film but he added he and his wife were worried about her ability to find a job after college. He went on to say that she was accepted to some of the top schools for music and film and that she chose to attend an expensive school. 

She received a decent size scholarship that covered most of her degree, but everything else, including her living expenses, was her responsibility. After graduating with her degree, she was luckily able to find a job that doesn’t pay well but makes her happy, and she scraped the idea of grad school, OP says.

OP said his son is more of a STEM guy and decided to go into engineering, and he also expressed that he had no interest in grad school. OP said his wife and he were disappointed but accepted it since he was all set up with a well-paying job when he completed school. 

Since the son did not receive as many scholarships as his sister, they decided to use his education fund to cover his tuition and living expenses. Using the fund that was set aside for his education, he was able to get a large and nice apartment of his own close to the school, which was important since his classes were so demanding, and he needed a comfortable space to work, says OP.

Where’s My Money? 

OP’s daughter questioned her brother about how he was able to afford his amenities, and he told her about the education fund. The daughter then called her parents and asked why she didn’t have one; she was told she did. They just didn’t use it because they hoped she would attend grad school and wanted to use the money for that.

The daughter was hurt by this news and asked if there was any way she could have the money now. OP explained that there would be a fee to withdraw the money for non-education uses; if they chose to do that, it would belong to her grandparents so they could put it towards their own use. 

OP says he knows that it seems unfair to her, but it’s not really her money in the first place and that her brother only received it for educational purposes, and it wouldn’t be right for her to have it to spend now. 

Reddit Weighs In

The very first Redditor ripped into the father with, “You paid for your son to have a large apartment to himself close to his school but forced your daughter to pay for her own sh***y apartment across town? Obvious AH”

Another Redditor said, “YTA.  I assumed this would be the classic “my kid didn’t go to college and wants their college fund” – but it isn’t even.  Neither child went to grad school, but you decided to give money to one but not the other, so it’s not even about grad school as you pretended.  You basically decided your daughter’s goals didn’t meet your approval so you didn’t give her the money that had been set aside for her.”

To which another Redditor responded with, “Not even paid for his, but intentionally withheld from hers.”

A third Redditor said, “So let me get this right…your daughter attended college and had a scholarship. Your son attended college with no scholarship. You chose not to let your daughter use her college fund for everything that her scholarship didn’t cover, and you let your son use him for everything. The college fund you said “wasn’t even her money” isn’t yours either!! What exactly do YOU plan to do with HER college money? YTA FOR THIS.”

Redditors were quick to show the OP their feelings about this money situation. What’s your opinion? Is this father in the wrong? 

This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.

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