Exploring the Impact of Childhood Trauma: 15 Different Perspectives
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The lasting impact of traumatic childhood experiences can manifest in numerous ways, shaping the lives of individuals well into adulthood. Exploring a thought-provoking question, we delve into the realm of personal introspection: “For those who have endured traumatic childhoods, what are some behaviors or patterns in your adult life that you didn’t initially realize were direct consequences of that trauma?” This inquiry invites individuals to reflect on their journeys of self-discovery, shedding light on the hidden connections between their past experiences and present behaviors.
Difficulty Trusting Others
To begin, someone replied, “Stepping away from persons of the opposite gender showing interest and being cold. Pretty much killed a few dozen potential relations with marvelous people. That’s the result of being told year after year I wasn’t desired as a child. Hard to recover and trust people.”
Another said, “I assume everyone is secretly out to hurt me or against me, so I insist on doing everything myself without help with little to no trust in anyone.”
Hypervigilance
A user added, “Something I do that I recently learned other people don’t do is constantly pay attention to my surroundings. I listen for footsteps, doors opening and closing, people’s voices, water running in the pipes, cars pulling into the driveway, and on and on. As a kid, I needed to know who was in my house and what they were doing.”
Another user commented, “Being hyperaware of anyone experiencing negative emotions in the room. Feeling someone else’s anger or depression very severely and feeling as though I have to be the one to calm things down and keep the peace.”
Fear of Abandonment
One reader replied, “Getting overly attached to people way too quickly, which usually pushes them away and just destroys me over and over again.”
Intense Need for Control
A most-liked comment read, “I used to save a lot of food “just in case,” but it ended up rotting because I would never eat it, saving for another time.”
Another comment was, “I had nearly zero control over my life for most of my childhood. Now I need to have absolute control over nearly every situation, specifically driving.”
Perfectionism
A popular comment said, “Adrenaline dump at the slightest hint of conflict.”
Another popular comment was, “Something minor goes wrong because I made a mistake, I think it is all over, ruined, and everything is my fault. I feel I should just go crawl into a hole and die.”
Quiet Movements
One user said, “I’m 6’2 and about 250-260lbs. Needless to say, I’m a large human being. I can move freakishly quietly, especially for someone my size. There have been multiple times I’ve startled someone on accident because they didn’t hear that I was there. Learning to move quietly as a kid was essential when you have parents that’d blow up over the smallest thing.”
Another added, “I still memorize where creaks are in floors.”
Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
A user wrote, “I realized I’m toxically independent. I have an extremely hard time asking for help because I never had it.”
A second user added, “I’ve become a pathological liar, and I don’t know how to get help for it. If there even is help for it, I mean, I try not I notice the damage it causes, but I can’t seem to stop. I’m still relatively young, but I fear the damage is becoming irreversible.”
People-Pleasing Tendencies
One person wrote, “I people please at all times. I thought I was kind, but I’m actually trying to be as agreeable as possible out of fear.”
Another person added, “I apologize for absolutely everything and am a people-pleaser to a toxic degree.”
Struggles with Intimacy and Vulnerability
A user commented, “I used to loathe physical touch. After much contemplation, I realized I didn’t trust anyone enough to make myself vulnerable, even for a hug.”
A second user replied, “I really hate it when people physically touch me.”
Chronic Self-Doubt
One person replied, “I keep saying sorry for every little inconvenience or anytime I feel like I’m bothering someone.”
Another person said, “Asking for permission to do literally anything, double-checking that I was doing the right thing, and always second-guessing myself. Like to an abnormal level.”
Imposter Syndrome
A popular comment was, “The big one I didn’t know about was masking. Always being afraid to show my own personality, likes, feelings, or interests because I subconsciously feared that people would use them to make fun of me and reject me.”
Chronic Anxiety
One user said, “I’m insanely flinchy like I get startled super easily. People try to jump out and scare me, and they laugh when I jump back. I wish they knew, as it hurts sometimes knowing why it always gets me.”
A second user replied, “Anytime someone is nice to me, I always assume they want something and that it’s just an act.”
Tendency to Self-Isolate
One popular comment said, “Zone out. It took me years to realize that it was disassociation and not just me being “a space cadet” I was zoning out when upset or having flashbacks.”
Hypersensitivity to Criticism/Compliments
A reader commented, “Seriously doubt the motives of anyone who says anything nice.”
Another reader said, “Literally cannot take a compliment without immediately self-deprecating.”
Difficulty Expressing Emotions
Finally, a reader replied, “I realized recently that a lot of the cruel things that were said to me have embedded themselves into my regular vocabulary under the guise of ‘self-deprecating humor.”
Source: Redditors
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