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When comes to the intricate dynamics within families, particularly between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, Reddit serves as a platform for diverse discussions. In an attempt to foster fairness, a thought-provoking question was posed to the “Mothers-In-Law” community, encouraging them to share their extraordinary stories involving daughters-in-law. This inquiry provides insight into the complexities, challenges, and conflicts that can emerge within these relationships.
To begin, someone said, “I was the shi****y DIL, we married young, and she would try to help a little too much. I would feel suffocated by her and felt like she was judging everything I did. 4-5 years later, I realized she was just trying what she thought was best for us, and we now have the best relationship.”
A crazy comment was, “My ex called my mom a bi****h for not cc’ing her when she was emailing me… this happened within days of my father dying, and I was making all of the preparations and handing ins and bills and stuff. She was awful then.”
One user said, “SIL had a very particular way of doing things. So she told my sister not to do anything because SIL had an order. Dishes? Nope, leave it in the sink. Cleaning? Nope, you’re not doing it my way. So as my SIL said, my sister didn’t touch any cleaning. Then SIL got upset my sister didn’t clean. Made a PowerPoint presentation on everything my sister did wrong. These presentations would last at least 20 minutes and up to an hour or so. My sister was confused because when she did help, she was told she was doing it wrong, and SIL told her to stop. Now that she stopped, SIL is mad my sister isn’t helping.”
One shocking story was, “My DIL decided, after years of manipulating my son, to walk out on him and their two kids. A few hours later, she changes her mind and bombards him with all kinds of crap for a week. And then, she gains access to the house when he’s out and changes the locks causing him and their two young kids to be homeless. She sucks!
A user commented, “My MIL has a very rocky relationship with one of her Daughters in law. There are a few of us. This one time, this particular DIL (with a rocky relationship) had started “being nice” to our MIL by going to lunch with her and giving her advice on how to change annoying aspects of her personality. This lasted for a couple of months. Finally, the DIL had an absolute rage session and started screaming at the MIL, saying how she could no longer be part of this ruse and that all her attempts at being friendly and trying to change the MIL’s personality were pointless because the MIL was too stupid. To this day, they don’t get along, and family gatherings are always super uncomfortable.”
One person shared, “I’m apparently the crazy DIL. One of our kids asked to change pronouns and live as a girl, which we fully supported. It wasn’t a surprise to us. We’d seen it coming for a long time and had gone so far as to let some family members know that our child was on that path. My FIL told my husband that he thought I was forcing our child to do this because of “how much I hate men,” at which point we decided that our children would no longer be going to their house unsupervised because we wouldn’t subject them to that attitude. MIL threw a fit about how unfair all of this was to her. They’ve both decided I hate them. I have very little sympathy for the corner they’ve backed themselves into. When they apologize and commit to supporting their granddaughter, then we can talk about reforming a relationship.”
Another person said, “My aunt has plenty about my cousin’s wife. She’s one of those vegans that gives vegans as a whole a bad name and is staunchly anti-vax. She also refused to get prenatal care when pregnant with her son, wanting to raise him “all-natural,” only conceding to get an ultrasound.”
Jealousy and Competition
A funny story was, “My brother’s MIL cut her own daughter and him out of all contact after Trump lost. I know for a fact they cited that as the reason. It was super petty too. As she said, I’m removing all socialist people from Facebook. I was kinda thinking dude that’s your daughter, though. I guess they have since sort of reconnected.”
Another interesting story was, “Not my DIL yet … but I’m 19 years younger than my husband but 12 years older than my stepson. She thinks I want to sleep with my stepson. She keeps the babies from us. Rarely do we get to see them unless, of course, she has a circumstance that is her only option for a babysitter. We’ve tried very hard to have a good relationship, but she just hates me. I once even stopped by their house to visit, she was cordial, but my stepson got an earful when he got home from work. Just sad all around- she doesn’t want us in their lives.”
Kidnapping and Abandonment
One user shared, “My mother always tried with my ex-SIL, but she was a nutcase. XSIL and my brother were separated after she abandoned their son at the daycare center to run away and start a new life; my brother ended up with full custody of my nephew.”
Addition and Abuse
A popular comment was, “When I first met her, she was a tweaker, she knew I knew, and she hated me. Now she stays home and knits and crafts, and I have not seen my grandson in 3 years. She still hates me.”
A second comment was, “My brother got married without telling our parents, and the first time we met her was at Thanksgiving. She accused our mother of hurting her and is drugging my brother.”
Interference in the Relationship
One story was, “So not a MIL, but one of my mum’s friends. Her son was on track to become an engineer, and then he met this girl. She was a teacher and wanted to be a “full-time mommy” (which there was nothing wrong with). He ended up dropping out of his degree as she told him, she got pregnant, he works at a dead-end job, and she demanded she cut him off from all his family. She’s very anti-vax/5G and is totally consumed with every conspiracy theory going on. He no longer talks to his mom or any of the family.”
Lack of Inclusion
One story was, “My MIL refused to even sit in the same room as me from the very start, let alone meet me. Because I’m white, have tattoos, and didn’t get a college degree (still successful with a great salary) and because I had “been in a relationship before, so won’t treasure my son”. Actually, it was because she wanted her son’s money and affection all to herself. Well, her son and I aren’t together anymore. You can have the ba****d!”
Disputes and Theories
A user replied, “My ex is convinced that my mother is part of a conspiracy to ruin her life, along with the police departments of four states, a former state’s attorney, and her daughter’s father.”
A person shared, “It happened to a friend. Her brother married this girl who was his college friend. They are very happy together and have a baby girl… Suddenly the son’s father passed away, so her mother went to stay with her son and DIL. At first, she was ok. But after a month, DIL started to lock the fridge (in India, fridges come with internal locks) and pantry doors. She started cutting down MIL’s food. When my friend learned about this, we went to her brother’s place, packed her mom’s stuff, and brought her back to my friend’s house.”
Lots of Boundaries
A mother-in-law wrote, “I’m a MIL. I only visit when invited and follow both my DIL’s house rules. Have grandchildren’s gifts pre-approved by their parents, and only give grandkids food treats approved by their parents It’s the only way to keep the peace”
Finally, someone shared, “The stories I’ve heard of my aunt’s DIL are the worst. She’s kept my cousin on a tight leash after marriage and banned my aunt from communicating with him on any social media acct. It’s so bad whenever my cousin happens to see my aunt. He acts like he doesn’t know her. All this is due to the DIL. Just hurts to see my aunt not see her own grandkids.”
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