We all have days where we feel stressed out, overwhelmed and like our heads are spinning. It’s a normal part of motherhood and sometimes we need something to make us laugh and put a smile on our faces. Today we’ve got 65 funny life quotes that will put a smile on your face when you need it.
From Ho-Hum To Happy: How to Reduce Stress, Improve Your Mindset, and Manifest your Best Life.
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But as we all know, the fundamentals of living a good life haven’t changed. Likewise, the benefit of a good laugh in our daily life hasn’t changed either. So, I started snooping around the internet in search of some good clean fun.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and even better if there’s a lesson as well.
Luckily, there are a plethora of funny life quotes out there that will make you laugh. Quite a few of them will give you a genuine reason to laugh. Some of the funny life quotes also may help knock some sense into you, along with a good laugh.
Before I proceed, I want to recognize that most of these funny life quotes are from books, media, and friends. My thanks and kudos to those who said them. All but the last batch are anonymous, so my anonymous thanks to them as well.
Let’s start with 50 anonymous funny life quotes to put you in a good mood. Then, I end with 15 funny life quotes from famous individuals to get you thinking about your life and where you might want to take it.
50 Funny Life Quotes to Make You Smile
- Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as jogging for 20 minutes. Now I am sitting in the park laughing at the joggers.
- An employee complained this show is really boring. Boss answered: we are in a Zoom conference, idiot.
- People are prisoners of their phones, especially the millennials. That is why it is called a cell phone.
- Tell the millennials that their brain is an app, they will start using it.
- Many told me that we learn from our mistakes. I decided to make a lot of mistakes to become a genius.
- With great power comes a great electricity bill.
- Broccoli says it looks like a small tree, mushroom says it looks like an umbrella, walnut says it looks like a brain, and the banana said, can we change the subject?
- My bed and I are buddies and get along really well, but the alarm clock continues to break us up!
- If I had only one hour to live, I’d rather be in a math class; it never ends.
- Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems. I am tired of solving them for you.
- Math is fun. It teaches you to sit in the corner when it is cold. It is 90 degrees.
- You want to know who I am in love with, reread the first word.
- Life offers you a second chance, just a second, a new second.
- My spouse’s credit card got stolen. What a relief, the thief spent less than my spouse.
- If you don’t like me, remember it is mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.
- I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets. I have my friends for that.
- If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.
- Why should I prove it is me when I pay bills over the phone? I didn’t call you to pay someone else’s bill. On the other hand, if someone is paying my bills, please let them.
- Mom yelled at her son, saying, “Why is everything on the floor?” Son replied, “Gravity, mom.”
- I always thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips!
- Dance like nobody is watching because they all are checking their phones.
- I just want someone to hug me and say, “I know it is hard, but you will be okay. Here is a drink and a million dollars.”
- Dear life, can this day get any worse? Please, it is not a challenge, just a rhetorical question.
- I try to sing loud to get a break from my problems, but my voice is worse than my problem.
- Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday?
- My boss asked me who is stupid, him or the employee? Everyone knows you don’t hire stupid people.
- When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, and it is already 6:45. When you are at work, and it is 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes. It is only 2:31.
- In the morning I cannot eat, I am thinking of you. In the evening I cannot eat, I am thinking of you. In the night, I cannot sleep. I am so hungry.
- If someone is laughing, laugh with them. If someone is singing, sing with them. If someone is working, let them work, don’t ruin their concentration.
- Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.
- On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.
- I’d rather call my bathroom Jim instead of John. Then I can say that I go to the Jim every morning.
- I got up this morning and ran around the block ten times. Then I got tired and put the block back in the toy box.
- Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does. That is why I think of jogging every day.
- I did a push-up today. Well, actually, I fell down and had to use both my arms to get back up.
- Every morning I do ten sit-ups just to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.
- Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- Why don’t I use my turn signals? It is nobody’s business where I am going.
- What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking in? Make another hole and drain the water.
- Did anyone walk out of a store and rip off their mask as if they just finished a disappointing surgery on Grey’s Anatomy?
- Well, if you have to choose between eating tacos every day and being skinny for life, would you choose the hard or soft tacos?
- How can you hurt someone with words? Hit them with a dictionary.
- Do lazy people go to heaven, or do they wait for someone to pick them up?
- Ever wondered why the pictures are square when the camera lenses are round?
- Anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac. So, you are both an idiot and a maniac.
- Red, white and blue represents freedom unless they are flashing behind you.
- Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit. I just didn’t see your car.
- At the end of the day, life should ask us, “Do you want to save the changes?”
- Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
Hopefully, the above funny life quotes helped you crack a smile. Regardless, I bet these funny life quotes made you think about your life events a bit.
With that in mind, I felt that this article would not be complete without listing some wise and funny quotes from several famous individuals. Even though each will likely make you chuckle, there are many valuable life lessons in them as well.
Whether your goal is to become independently wealthy, make the next scientific breakthrough, be a famous artist, start a business, make a lot of money, or just live a good life, know that it will take some time to develop the wisdom to get there.
The following funny life quotes from famous people will give you strength and a positive attitude even when things may not be going your way. They did for me.
15 Funny Life Quotes from Famous Individuals
- “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” Terry Pratchett
- “The average man does not know what to do with his life yet wants another one which will last forever.” Anatole French
- “Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.” George Carlin
- “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” George Bernard Shaw
- “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama XIV
- “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” Ray Kroc
- “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” Attributed to both Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain (Origin Still in Question)
- “The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of the earth.” Jim Harrison
- “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Bernard Baruch
- “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” Attributed to Mother Teresa
- “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Mahatma Gandhi
- “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” Alan Dundes
- “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Albert Einstein
- “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” Bob Hope
- “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Elbert Hubbard
Funny life quotes will give us plenty to laugh at. Of course, that itself is a break from the not-so-funny times of our life.
But the best funny life quotes also make us think, helping us shed some new light on our world and maybe even changing our perspective.
Hopefully, you found the above quotes worthy of a chuckle and also helpful. See what wisdom you can glean from these cracks and how you might be able to apply them to your life.
I would say that it’s hard to be wise without getting a degree from the universe. Can that be my quote?
This post originally appeared on Your Money Geek.