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Motherhood Life Balance

Is Having a Pushy Mother-In-Law In Their Day-to-Day Life Worth Free Daycare?

ByVictoria Cornell November 9, 2023September 14, 2023
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A 25-year-old woman is pregnant unexpectedly with her boyfriend of four years. They had plans to get engaged before this, but her boyfriend’s mother, who is 57 years old, has always been unfriendly to her. She has been consistently rude and cold whenever they interact. This unfriendliness comes from the belief that there’s a class difference between them. The woman’s family has less money than her boyfriend’s, even though they work hard and are respectable.

The woman had to delay her college plans because of financial problems caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Right now, she has a full-time job and is studying at the same time. She is determined to finish her degree. The baby is due soon, and she wants to keep working and studying, taking a break from school for one semester after the baby is born to avoid daycare. Her boyfriend is supportive and agrees that it’s better to find alternative childcare rather than relying on his mother.

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But his mother thinks her offer to be the baby’s caregiver is a big sacrifice. She even suggests that she and her husband move closer to help with the baby. The woman is uncomfortable with this idea. She wants personal time with her baby and doesn’t want her boyfriend’s mother to be so involved in their daily lives. When she suggests using affordable university daycare, the mother-in-law reacts negatively and hints that she is dependent on her son financially.

Despite the mother-in-law’s good intentions, the woman’s boyfriend supports her. He finds his mother’s behavior and hints inappropriate. The woman is torn and upset about the situation, wondering if her reaction was right or if she might have done something wrong.

Opinions on the Situation

Many people would say the woman’s response to her mother-in-law’s offer is completely justified. They applaud her for putting her comfort and her baby’s well-being first, even if it means some challenges with her education. Some might say choosing university daycare is practical and sensible because it ensures professional care while allowing her to focus on her studies.

Although the mother-in-law may seem too pushy to some, others might think she genuinely cares and wants to be a part of her grandchild’s life. They could believe that, despite her misguided approach, her intentions are to support the woman and her boyfriend during this big life change.

Some might suggest finding a compromise between the woman’s independence and the mother-in-law’s offer could be helpful. They may propose having an honest conversation where the woman sets her boundaries but appreciates the sentiment behind the offer.

More from Motherhood Life Balance:

  • What is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child? 
  • Top 20 Signs of Childhood Trauma That Last into Adulthood
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Victoria Cornell
Website | + posts

As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.

While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.

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