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Motherhood Life Balance

Prioritizing Family or Sticking to Schedules? The 6 Difficult Choices of a Grandmother

ByVictoria Cornell November 17, 2023October 3, 2023
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It’s a common expectation for parents to eagerly anticipate becoming grandparents and enjoy the fun aspects of spending time with their grandchildren. However, in a specific case, a grandmother seems unwilling to cancel her prior commitments to meet her new grandbaby. This raises questions about prioritizing family and whether the grandmother’s decision is right or wrong.

Baby is Born

New Baby wearing a white hat
Image credit: Depositphotos tan4ikk.

The original poster’s (OP) son and daughter-in-law just had their second baby at the end of this past November. Her son and his wife live an hour away; however, OP doesn’t drive or have a car. Therefore, she would need to take public transportation. If OP were to take public transportation, it would take upwards of two hours to get to them. OP said due to her being busy with work and the cold winter weather, she hasn’t made her way out to see the baby.

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Christmas Dinner

bah humbug christmas
Image Credit: Monkey Business From Canva.com.

OP did host a Christmas dinner at a restaurant in early December for all of her kids. Her son and his wife said they would do their best to come with the baby, who would be around 2 weeks old at the time of the dinner. However, they also said it’s not guaranteed that they’d be able to come. They said it would depend on how hectic travel would be for them with a toddler and newborn. OP’s son and wife did not go to the dinner but told their family that their doors are open for visitors during the holidays. 

Just Not Working Out

Grandma with white hair holding her glasses
Image credit: Depositphotos ridofranz.

No one in the family visited them. OP feels like she’s done her part to see the baby with the holiday dinner; however, it just didn’t work out. Recently OP received a phone call from her son to come to meet the baby and see her other grandchild.

She replied she had Valentine’s Day dinner plans with her boyfriend and couldn’t come. She said she could tell he was annoyed on the phone, and she really wanted to meet her new grandchild. However, things just haven’t worked out.

Has She Tried Enough?

Woman talking to her family at the table. Kids covering their ears
Image credit: Depositphotos yacobchuk1

OP says she tries to video chat with her kids and grandchildren once every few months, but her son has made it clear in the past when they haven’t heard from her in over 8 months that she needed to make more of an effort.

OP feels that life gets in the way sometimes. OP also says she’s noticed her son’s wife has stopped sending her pictures of the kids, and she doesn’t engage with her about anything anymore.

The Masses Weigh In

family gathering outside
Image credit: Depositphotos Syda_Productions.

Readers gave their opinion on this grandmother/grandchild situation.

One reader said, “YTA, 2 hours away by public transit, is not far to see your literal grandchild. They’re not asking you to do it every weekend but not even once?! Also, you did your part by inviting a couple with a newborn to go to a restaurant during a pandemic. During the cold, flu, and whooping cough season.”

A second reader said, “Apparently, her plans with her bf are also more important than her son personally asking her to come to see her grandchild.”

More Reactions

Social Media Woes woman looking at computer upset with mouth open holding glasses up
Image credits: Depositphotos grinvalds.

Another poster said, “The real kicker for me was the “I’ve done my part” thing, and the “life gets in the way.” You have literally zero to give as a grandparent if you can’t figure out how to carve out 15 minutes every week, much less over 8 months, to video, chat your grandchild. YTA.”

Source: Reddit

Top 20 Signs of Childhood Trauma That Last into Adulthood

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Image credits: Depositphotos IgorTishenko

Going through trauma a child often causes a life-long impact on that person’s mental health and overall well-being. These experiences can manifest in a variety of ways, and they can be challenging for individuals to identify and deal with. Top 20 Signs of Childhood Trauma That Last into Adulthood

The Top 10 Things Boomers Had As Kids That Our Kids Need Badly Today

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Image credits: Depositphotos Lashkhidzetim

Things were different in the old day, but were they harder? Generations before us talk about how hard life was growing up when they did. Do you think it was? Hard work has changed over time, but does that mean it is easier? We are diving into things our kids could use that generations before us had to endure. The Top 10 Things Boomers Had As Kids That Our Kids Need Badly Today

Top 14 Intimate Secrets that People Often Keep From Their Families

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Image Credit Depositphotos piotr_marcinski.

In the complex network of family ties, there are often thoughts and secrets we keep to ourselves, hesitant to reveal them to our loved ones. “What is something you would never admit to your family?” Delving into the depths of our minds, we confront the unexpressed longings, anxieties, and remorse that remain concealed. Top 14 Intimate Secrets that People Often Keep From Their Families

Aging Traditions: 15 Things That Will Unfortunately Not Continue Happening After The Boomers Pass On

happy older couple woman leaning behind man bothe smiling
Image credits: Depositphotos monkeybusiness

Boomers are a hardworking, brutally honest generation that is often taken the wrong way and misunderstood by younger generations. Their advice often comes from a good place, even if it is not delivered the way the young ones would like to hear it. Some trademark things Boomers do, many think, will disappear once they are gone. What will you miss them doing? Aging Traditions: 15 Things That Will Unfortunately Not Continue Happening After The Boomers Pass On

The 16 Most Toxic Things Parents Can Say to Children

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Image credits: Depositphotos Elnur_

The relationship between parents and children is an undescribable and influential bond that shapes a person’s life. What is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child? 

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Victoria Cornell
Website | + posts

As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.

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