Prioritizing Family or Sticking to Schedules? The 6 Difficult Choices of a Grandmother
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It’s a common expectation for parents to eagerly anticipate becoming grandparents and enjoy the fun aspects of spending time with their grandchildren. However, in a specific case, a grandmother seems unwilling to cancel her prior commitments to meet her new grandbaby. This raises questions about prioritizing family and whether the grandmother’s decision is right or wrong.
Baby is Born
The original poster’s (OP) son and daughter-in-law just had their second baby at the end of this past November. Her son and his wife live an hour away; however, OP doesn’t drive or have a car. Therefore, she would need to take public transportation. If OP were to take public transportation, it would take upwards of two hours to get to them. OP said due to her being busy with work and the cold winter weather, she hasn’t made her way out to see the baby.
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Christmas Dinner
OP did host a Christmas dinner at a restaurant in early December for all of her kids. Her son and his wife said they would do their best to come with the baby, who would be around 2 weeks old at the time of the dinner. However, they also said it’s not guaranteed that they’d be able to come. They said it would depend on how hectic travel would be for them with a toddler and newborn. OP’s son and wife did not go to the dinner but told their family that their doors are open for visitors during the holidays.
Just Not Working Out
No one in the family visited them. OP feels like she’s done her part to see the baby with the holiday dinner; however, it just didn’t work out. Recently OP received a phone call from her son to come to meet the baby and see her other grandchild.
She replied she had Valentine’s Day dinner plans with her boyfriend and couldn’t come. She said she could tell he was annoyed on the phone, and she really wanted to meet her new grandchild. However, things just haven’t worked out.
Has She Tried Enough?
OP says she tries to video chat with her kids and grandchildren once every few months, but her son has made it clear in the past when they haven’t heard from her in over 8 months that she needed to make more of an effort.
OP feels that life gets in the way sometimes. OP also says she’s noticed her son’s wife has stopped sending her pictures of the kids, and she doesn’t engage with her about anything anymore.
The Masses Weigh In
Readers gave their opinion on this grandmother/grandchild situation.
One reader said, “YTA, 2 hours away by public transit, is not far to see your literal grandchild. They’re not asking you to do it every weekend but not even once?! Also, you did your part by inviting a couple with a newborn to go to a restaurant during a pandemic. During the cold, flu, and whooping cough season.”
A second reader said, “Apparently, her plans with her bf are also more important than her son personally asking her to come to see her grandchild.”
More Reactions
Another poster said, “The real kicker for me was the “I’ve done my part” thing, and the “life gets in the way.” You have literally zero to give as a grandparent if you can’t figure out how to carve out 15 minutes every week, much less over 8 months, to video, chat your grandchild. YTA.”
Source: Reddit
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