10 TOXIC Thought Patterns That Are Holding YOU, HOSTAGE

Do you feel like you have mindset habits that keep you from growing and taking life by the horns?

While scrolling through a very popular internet forum, I discovered an interesting thread. Someone asked, “What stupid mentalities and mindsets need to end?” Here are the top-voted responses.

10. Not Saying “No” To Unwanted Help

One person said, “The mentality that just because someone is trying to help doesn’t mean you can’t tell them to stop.” Another added, “You could even argue it’s your responsibility to tell them to stop.”

“Someone misinformed but well-meaning isn’t going to realize they’re not helping if you don’t tell them. They’ll be likely to repeat the same mistake in the future.”

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9. Comparing Trauma and Stresses Mentality

“Stop comparing traumas. It’s not a freaking competition. Instead, learn to have empathy and care for each other’s mental health,” replied one. “I’d also add not to compare stresses,” another shared.

“For example, I have been stressed out at work for many reasons. But coworkers shrug off my complaints with the phrases: “You don’t have kids. You’re not even in a relationship. So what do you have to be stressed about? It’s hurtful and annoying.”

8. My Opinion Should Be Protected

One person said, “You’re entitled to speak your mind. You’re not entitled to have people listen, comply, or care. The people that say, “I’m just saying,” “It’s my opinion,” or “I’m just speaking my mind” sometimes act as if you can’t or shouldn’t challenge their words.”

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“Having an opinion – used to open yourself up to debate and ridicule. People feel that having a view should be protected. That’s confusion about free speech. Sure, you can state your opinion, but everyone can say what an idiot you are and how dumb that idea is, and there’s not enough of that,” another suggested.

7. My Opinion Is as Good as Your Evidence

“My opinion is as good as your evidence. Or that everyone’s views are equally valid. No, the guy with a Ph.D. and ten years of experience in the field’s opinion is more accurate than your ten-minute Google search,” one answered.

Another added, “Or that I have to respect someone’s opinion. You’re entitled to have it, but how I feel about it is entirely up to me.”

6. If You’re Not 100% With Us, You’re 100% Against Us

Someone exclaimed, “The mindset – if you’re not 100% with us, you’re 100% against us!” Others discussed that being true about politics. “Seriously though, people need to learn nuance; if someone says or does something that you fundamentally don’t agree with or even “hate,” that does not mean you have to “hate” the entire person,” another replied.

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“Americans especially seem to be writing one another off wholesale because of political beliefs, but if you can’t give people credit for the good and the bad parts of themselves, they’re not going to extend the same courtesy to you.”

5. Anything but Perfection Is a Failure

“Another dastardly mindset is that ‘anything but perfection is a failure.’ On the contrary, progress is often incremental and takes time,” replied one. “Do not let perfect be the enemy of good.” A second person shared, “I have a teacher that says, “Failure – is always an option.”

4. I Can Fix Them

“One of the most harmful mentalities is – I can fix this person who has hurt me many times,” someone confessed. “Usually, it’s not just physical abuse but mental abuse too. Often, they convince the person they are worthless, and no one else would want them.”

“The victim can feel that because the abuser doesn’t leave them, they are worthy. The human brain can be very cruel to itself when abused.”

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3. Changing Your Mind Makes You Fake

“The mindset that if I change my mind or opinion about something, I’m being fake or phony. I prefer a growth mindset,” one admitted. “Seriously. It’s baffling that reassessing your position on something after new information is made available or after the additional experience has changed your opinion is somehow a negative thing.”

Finally, someone stated, “Paraphrased from a book series Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson: Don’t confuse hypocrisy with growth.”

2. Contradiction as Persecution

“The mentality of – I’m being persecuted when I am contradicted. I can be a friend, or I can be a yesman. But I cannot be both,” said one. Another added, “I’m a victim of persecution because I’m not allowed to oppress the people I don’t like.”

“Like, what? I can’t treat others like dirt if I disagree with their lifestyle, color, religion, politics, etc. So I am a victim of persecution! It’s a terrible mindset and all too common.”

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1. All or Nothing

“The concept that both – fault and responsibility can only be 100% or 0% and that if someone else has some fault, it absolves another of all responsibility,” replied one. Another added, “Also, the notion that fault and responsibility are the same.”

“For example, You are responsible for your own life and well-being, but that doesn’t make it necessarily your fault if you are not doing well.” Finally, a Star Wars nerd said, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”

What do you think? Did Reddit get this right, or is something significant missing from this list?

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