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A Reddit user shared his experience refusing to make his pregnant sister-in-law (SIL) a sandwich and telling her he is not her baby daddy.
The original poster (OP) explained that his wife’s sister is five months pregnant. She and her boyfriend were going through a rough patch, so she’s been living with OP and his wife. She works from home, so she spends all of her time at home. Both OP and his wife work outside of the home. OP said that his SIL is a good houseguest, is not messy, and is pleasant to be around.
OP said he understands that pregnancy hormones are a thing but that her food cravings have somehow fallen on him to solve. His wife sends him out of the house at all hours of the day to get food for her sister or sends him on errands after work to pick up stuff for her.
When he attempted to protest, his wife said that her sister is going through a hard time and they needed to be supportive. OP blew up at his wife when she sent him out to get fast food for his SIL at 1 a.m. last weekend. He told his wife that she should go, but she said she had to get up early for an appointment the next day.
OP ended up going but put his foot down and said he’s done doing this because he’s not an errand boy or his SIL’s baby daddy. The next day, OP was alone with his SIL at his house. He made himself a sandwich for lunch, and when his SIL saw it, she asked him to make her one too. He told her that all of the ingredients were still on the counter and she could make one herself.
She said she was feeling lightheaded and needed to sit down but that some food would help her. OP tried to say no again, but his SIL became emotional and started talking about how hard it is to go through pregnancy without a partner. OP said, “fine,” and went to go make the sandwich, and his SIL told him he would have to heat up the lunchmeat since her doctor told her she couldn’t have lunchmeat unless it was warmed up.
At that point, OP told her that he was neither her baby daddy nor her servant. He said he had been trying to be supportive but that he is done playing the role of her “partner.” He told her that he had given her privacy regarding her relationship issues but that she was going to have to figure something out soon because the current situation wasn’t working for him anymore.
His SIL started crying, and OP left to cool down. When he got home, his wife was waiting for him and got angry. She told him he was being a jerk for not just making his SIL the sandwich and an even bigger jerk for threatening to kick her out. She said that OP should have known better than to bring up her relationship and that it was a jerk move to do so. OP added that his wife had told him that the living situation would be temporary until his SIL figured out her stuff, but that the further her pregnancy goes, the less progress OP sees toward a solution.
Should OP have sucked it up and made her the sandwich? Should he continue to be her errand boy? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.