15 Ways To Become A Better Mother To Your Son

Becoming a mom is challenging. You are no longer responsible for just yourself but also for another tiny human. When a woman discovers they will become a boy mom, many start to freak out. They do not know much about “boy stuff” and are afraid they will mess up somehow. Recently, someone posted a simple question: “How can we be better Mothers to boys?” Here are some ways to become a better mother to your son.

Change Your Views On Fighting

One Redditor wrote, “ I was bullied badly in school and begged my mom to put me in a karate class or something that would allow me to learn some sort of self-defense. She never did because she didn’t believe in fighting. I was told to tell a teacher, which, of course, made the bullying even worse than before. (The school didn’t give a rat’s ass, either way.).”

A second Redditor added, “My mom always told me never to fight. That it’s better to walk away. I was bullied for years and didn’t know how to defend or stand up for myself. I wish I had learned more about self-confidence.”

A third Redditor replied, “I was taught “Don’t start a fight, but finish it.”

Introduce Them To Girls

A popular comment read, “Find ways to introduce them to girls their age in casual situations. I grew up with two brothers. All my friends were boys. Girls were basically some other species.”

Another user commented, “Yesss, this is so important to me! I have nephews who are older than my boys, and their friends and family friends are allllll boys, and you can see already that they act sooo awkward and clearly uncomfortable with girls they come across.”

Compliment Them 

A user replied, “Compliment their achievements sincerely and teach them to compliment their own achievements too. Let them know that it’s okay not to have validation all of the time from other people as long as they appreciate themselves. Compliments and validation rarely come, in my opinion, especially to men!”

Another user added, “Compliment the internal traits that are good to develop that lead to accomplishment and strong men. Things like effort, focus, dedication, loyalty, leadership, etc.”

Let Them Take Risks

One response was, “Don’t prevent them from doing risky physical activities like climbing trees and skateboarding. They don’t grow and expand if they can’t stretch their horizons. I know you will be scared they will hurt themselves, and they WILL hurt themselves, but it’s the only way for them to develop true confidence instead of false confidence.”

Another response read, ”This applies in any loving relationship: you care for the ones you love, you wish to shield & protect them from harm and pain and struggles, yet you know that sometimes their choices brought them to a point where they want to be, even if it hurts. It teaches, lets them grow, get wiser, more humble, know their limits….”

Let Them Do Things Themselves

One Redditor replied, “Don’t do everything for us. My mom was a great mom, but she always did my laundry, packed my lunch, and did most of the cleanup after a meal. By doing so many things for me, I never learned to do them for myself, and it set me up for failure when I moved out.”

Another Redditor added, “Yes! Kids all need to be taught how to cook, clean, and do laundry. It might cost mom some ruined lingerie, but even boys need to know how to care for delicates.”

KNOCK!

One simple answer was, “Knock before you enter his room.”

Another user replied, “Even if the door is open, reach around and give it a little tap.”

Discuss Their Emotions  

A user responded with, “Think through how to help them process their emotions. When a young boy is going through something, they often shout, hit things, etc. Parents tell them to stop and go to their room. As such young boys have their emotions suppressed and never learn how to deal with things in a healthy manner.”

Another user added, “I think with both genders, parents need to validate their kid’s emotions, tell them they are entitled to feel them (including anger), but importantly also tell them that the way they feel inside is not an excuse to hurt people/damage things/lie/scream at people/etc.”

Listen To Them

One Redditor replied, “Listen to them. Be open and be someone they WANT to come to discuss what’s going on with their lives. “That’s not what boys do,” or “Man up!” is a surefire way to get them to alienate you and end up with a lad who ‘only spends his time in his room.”

Another Redditor responded, “Ask him daily how his day went. Listen to them. We boys have only our mother with whom we can share our feelings, cry, etc. She is the only one in our life with whom we can be ourselves, and we know that she will never judge us or leave us.”

Teach Them About Women

A simple response was, “Teach him how to behave with women, periods, etc.”

Another user commented, “Mothers are the only women who can be honest to a boy about how to interact with girls and women. They cannot be afraid to give boys advice that might cast women in a negative light.”

Find Positive Male Role Models 

A user commented, “Make sure they have some sort of positive male influence in their life. Someone they can go to for advice, whether it be a father, grandfather, uncle, one of your adult friends, etc.”

A second user replied, “Someone who you recognize and trust. That lays the foundation for how to be a good man in general.”

Support Them 

A helpful answer was, “One thing I’d advise is to try to support their goals in life. So, for example, if your son/daughter wants to be an archeologist, take them to events related to that and try to nurture that even if they end up getting bored with it.”

Let Them Have Friends That Are Girls

One Redditor wrote, “Stop allowing that weird ‘every girl you interact with is your girlfriend’ bull****. It just creates creeps and entitled weirdos and really lays the groundwork for bad conceptualizations of consent.”

Another Redditor added, “And it just makes the poor kid uncomfortable at the moment when he’s already in an awkward stage of his life as is.”

Be Their Safe Person

A most-liked comment read, “Make sure you are your son’s safe person. He should be able to talk to you about school, friends, relationships, sex, anything. Mothers are one of, if not the most important women in their son’s life.”

Show Them Healthy Relationships

Finally, one Redditor replied, “Treat your husband/significant other the way you would want to see your son treated by his future significant other someday. Seeing toxicity from parents towards the other parent teaches many lessons that can take a long time to unlearn.”
Redditors had a lot of advice for boy moms out there. What is your advice? How can we be better moms to our sons?

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