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Imagine being told you can’t sleep with your wife in your in-laws’ house. That’s exactly what happened to this husband and wife. If you think you know how this story plays out, think again.
OP and his wife flew to visit her parents, who live across the country, recently. Until then, the husband had only spent some time with her parents. This was the first extended time they’d be together. Everything was going as well as it could. OP and FIL hung out and watched football while she caught up with her mom and sisters, and then they all had a really nice dinner.
At the end of the night, it was made clear that they didn’t want OP and his wife (their daughter) sharing a bed in their home and that they expected OP to sleep on the couch. OP thought it was a joke, but they insisted they sleep separately. An argument ensued, and OP decided to leave and book a hotel. OP told his wife she didn’t have to come, she chose to stay, and OP said he’d come back the in the morning.
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The Next Morning
The following morning OP called his wife, asking when he should come by. She said her parents wanted OP to apologize for leaving the way he did. OP agreed to do so to keep the peace but wanted the parents to acknowledge that it wasn’t appropriate to insist he couldn’t share a bed with his wife. She said she’d talk to them and call him back.
Minutes later, OP hears back from his wife, she tells him that not only will they not apologize for it, but they are insisting OP needs to come back and stay on the couch for the rest of the visit, and if he doesn’t agree to this, he’s not welcome back in the house.
OP tells his wife there’s no chance he will do that and is no longer willing to offer any apology. Now OP’s wife’s sisters are contacting him, saying this is just how their parents are, that his wife is very upset, and that he needs to give in and stay on the couch before this becomes a family feud.
OP says he does not care what they say and is willing to treat the rest of the trip as a solo vacation, go sightseeing, and meet his wife back at the airport at the end of the week.
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Redditors Weigh In
This hotel situation got many Redditors commenting and sharing their opinions on this issue.
One Redditor’s top comment states, “NTA – Your in-laws are abhorrent hosts. It’s their house, their rules, and their rules are stupid. Rather than fighting a pointless battle, you set a clear and valid boundary, and they choose to take offense to it. They want you to stay on their couch because it’s a power play. You staying in a hotel takes that power away, and they can’t handle it. The fact that your wife doesn’t have your back on this is a giant red flag. Good luck.”
Another user said, “It never should even have happened in this manner. OPs wife would obviously know her own parents, and as such, known that the “sleep on the couch” was coming, yet, not only didn’t tell her husband but, pushed to stay at the house knowing the situation would happen. The in-laws, knowing this would be a rule in their house, should have reached out to OP, explaining why it’s a rule and that maybe getting a hotel room would be best, and even offered to go halves on it. Yet, they didn’t do that, and when OP got POd, they got offended? They didn’t say, “hey, your call”?
The fact that your wife doesn’t have your back on this is a giant red flag. OP’s wife allowed the situation to happen by not warning her husband, allowing him to be blindsided with it, then expected him to give in to her parent’s demands.”
A third user said, “What a bizarre and controlling thing! I am so sorry that OPs wife is unwilling to stand up to her parents for such a ridiculous rule. It feels like the only chance for a successful marriage is the fact that these controlling loonies do not live close by. NTA.”
So, whose side are you on? Would you have gotten a hotel room or sucked it up and slept on the couch?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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Image Credit: Depositphotos- iakovenko123
As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.