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Your in-laws need to move in. You graciously allow them to stay with you for a while and then see that they’re up late at night listening to music and dancing. You ask them to turn it down and they refuse. What do you do?!
A Reddit user shares his story of his in-laws staying with them and how he had to take drastic measures to make sure his kids could get a decent night’s sleep.
The original poster (OP) explains that his wife’s parents are having to stay with them after a freak accident left their house in need of repairs. OP said the repairs should take a couple of months. He doesn’t get along very well with his in-laws, especially his father-in-law, but OP agreed to let them stay because he thought the time would “fly by” and it “wouldn’t be that bad,” but he says he was wrong.
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His mother-in-law doesn’t work, and his father-in-law works the late shift and doesn’t get home until around 11 p.m. They like to watch YouTube when he gets home and play music in the living room. OP said that while it isn’t house party loud, it’s still loud enough to wake up his kids. His kids then come and wake him up, asking him to “make it stop.”
OP said his wife works the overnight shift, so she doesn’t see any of this happening. OP said he tried to talk to his mother and father-in-law about it and specifically asked them to turn the volume down after 8:30 when his kids go to bed. OP made it clear he doesn’t expect complete silence, but he doesn’t see why they need to have the TV on loud late at night.
His father-in-law argued and said that since he doesn’t get off work until 11 p.m., OP expects him to “not do the things he enjoys” after work. OP stood firm and told him that he could do it before work or on his days off. Otherwise, he will have to deal with it.
His father-in-law complained to OP’s wife, who took her parents’ side and said that the kids need to learn how to sleep through “a bit of everyday noise.” OP made it clear that it was not everyday noise and that his in-laws were being loud and inconsiderate. His father-in-law began to send OP links for children’s ear plugs shortly after their conversation.
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OP is getting fed up and believes that they should be more respectful since they are guests in his home. OP decided to put parental controls on the TV so that his in-laws cannot use it after 8:30 p.m. and have to wait until 6:00 a.m. the next morning.
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Between those times, a password must be entered in order to use the TV, and only OP knows what it is. It won’t affect his wife since she doesn’t get off work until around 6:00 a.m. His father-in-law was incredibly angry and said that OP was behaving like a child and demanded the password. OP’s wife is upset with him for upsetting her father.
OP said he is just very annoyed by the whole situation and is sick of hearing about it.
Here’s What Some Have to Say
We followed this Reddit thread to see what some had to say about the matter. Is the Op in the wrong here or do we agree that he has every right to demand respect for his kids sleeping environment at night?
“NTA. Your in-laws are rude and inconsiderate, and your wife should be managing them and backing you up in this. Had she done so, you would not need to take such drastic measures. Both you and the kids need your sleep. The in-laws are guests in your home. This is wildly inappropriate for them to act this way. If they don’t like the house rules, they can go to a motel.”
Another said, “I wonder if FIL/MIL steamrolled wife so much growing up that she has a hard time setting boundaries with them. You are correct either way, but every time I see someone rolling over for their parents in posts like this, I have to wonder if that’s what’s going on because the ILs are obviously in the wrong.”
This commenter added his own experience. “My wife goes to bed at 9pm. She is a light sleeper and our house is small on one floor. I watch TV until 2am. I have the volume so low for action films that I can’t always hear the whispered dialogue. I use the SUBTITLES. FIL needs to adapt to your kids not the other way around. Besides a TV with a separate sound system would also support the use of a wireless headset so send him links to that.”
Seems users agree with Op in this situation and feel that he should be respected in his home when asking them to be quiet while him and his children are sleeping.
Was OP right to put parental controls on the TV? Should OP’s in-laws have been more respectful of OP’s wishes? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.