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Motherhood Life Balance

She Decided Not to Pay for Her Bridesmaids’ Dresses and Hotel Rooms.

ByClaire Conway November 25, 2023
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Are you supposed to pay for your bridesmaids’ wedding dresses and hotel rooms?

A Reddit user shares her story of deciding not to pay for her bridesmaids’ dresses and hotel rooms.

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The Big Day

The original poster (OP) said that she is getting married in August. She and her fiance decided to keep their bridal party small, with mostly family and close friends. OP asked her sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid out of respect for her fiance, although she and her sister-in-law don’t have the best history.

OP said that since asking her to be a bridesmaid, her sister-in-law has been polite and helpful with the wedding planning. OP sent her eight different options for dresses to make sure she would have one that she liked. She picked one out and everything seemed fine. OP told her to go ahead and order it.

Her sister-in-law was confused and expressed that she thought OP would be paying for the dress. OP said no and that everyone else had already picked theirs out and ordered it, so she could order it whenever she felt like it. OP told her fiance about the conversation and her fiance asked why they weren’t paying for the dresses. He said that he thought it was normal for them to cover the expenses and his sister probably did as well.

He’s also upset that they aren’t paying for their hotel for the night since they’re part of the bridal party. They are paying for nails, hair, makeup, and bridal party gifts that are worth $200 each. They also gave gifts when they asked people to be in their wedding. OP’s sister-in-law did not attend the bachelorette party and did not contribute to the shower. OP’s older sister paid for it.

Financial Limitations

bridesmaid MSN
Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

OP explained that she and her fiance are middle class and honestly cannot afford the dresses and the hotel. She said the wedding expenses have already gotten out of control thanks to inflation and she will be spending thousands on hair, makeup, and nails. The bridesmaid dress costs $120 and OP made sure to send options at various price points.

She said she definitely cannot afford the hotel rooms, but her fiance is upset and said his family is going to give him grief because they paid for everything for everyone when they got married. OP added that her fiance recently got laid off and so the financial burden of the wedding has fallen completely on her. She also added that her sister-in-law is upper middle class.

OP also posted an update that she and her fiance sat down and decided to cover the cost of the dresses as a token of goodwill and will give another token gift on the day of the wedding. They will not be covering hotel rooms because it isn’t in their budget. They will also be cutting other large expenses in an attempt to be more frugal.

Should OP have planned to pay for the dresses and hotel in the beginning? Is it fair for her fiance’s family to expect that of her? How would you have reacted in this situation?

This article was produced and syndicated by Motherhood Life Balance. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.

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Claire Conway
+ posts

Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.

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