Her Fiance Said it Would Take Away from the Specialness if she Picked her Own Wedding Band, But She Wants to Pick it Anyways

A wedding band is a lifelong commitment and something you will both wear every day for a very long time. Is there a rule that one should pick them over the other? Or is it ok if one person decides they want what they want?

A Reddit user shares her story of letting her boyfriend have creative freedom to choose her engagement ring but backtracking and instead wanting to choose the band herself.

An Exciting Proposal

The original poster (OP) explains that she and her fiance booked their wedding venue before they got engaged. He proposed in December, so it wasn’t a surprise, but OP said it was great nonetheless. OP and her fiance were in a tight financial situation when they got engaged, so they got a cubic zirconia ring instead.

OP’s fiance knows what type of stone she wants, and she sent him some inspirational photos as well. She said he picked something very pretty. OP said she had no issue letting him pick the ring because she knew how special it was for him and knew it wouldn’t be her permanent ring.

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Not Seeing Eye to Eye

OP said that she was very excited when she got a job at the company where she wanted her lab-grown diamond made. She is also excited because they will get a discount. Since working there, OP said she looked at many bands and knows exactly which one she wants. Her fiance said it would take away from the specialness if she picked the band.

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OP thinks the idea is sweet, but she will have to wear it for the rest of her life, and she feels that it makes the most sense to have the band she wants. She feels that he should be happy seeing her wear the one she really wants.

Here’s What Others Thought About This Situation

“NTA. (not the a** ho**) Like you said, you’re the one wearing this for the rest of your life.”

“You’re going to wear this ring for the rest of your life, I think as long as you didn’t insult the one he got, and were being reasonable (non confrontational and not offending), i think that’s absolutely fine. As a team, you guys will be navigating compromise forever. Pretending to love a ring you don’t isn’t going to work for anyone.”

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Another said. “NTA. You are not the only fiancée who wants to/has chosen her own ring. The ring is a symbol, and should bring pleasure to the wearer. The specialness comes from his proposal and your acceptance. Gently explain this to him.”

“NTA. Just got engaged and my fiancé chose her own ring. Honestly, I was relieved that I didn’t have to guess and I like knowing that she got exactly what she wanted.”

It seems Redditors are with OP and agree she’s not the AH for wanting to pick her own band.

Should OP still let her fiance choose the band? Should OP’s fiance listen to her and choose the one she wants? How would you react in this situation?

This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.

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