Kids Have Zero Filter – Outrageous Things Kids Have Said that Left Their Parents Shocked
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Children say the most darn things, and sometimes you never know what is going to come out of their mouths. Whether it is a swear word, a funny joke, or just something completely out of left field, children know how to make adults laugh. You’ll find some of the most interesting and surprising interactions with children right here.
Love and Relationships
One funny comment was, “I’m 56. When I was 47, I had a 3-year-old son. We were at Mcdonald’s, and he got stuck up in the play castle and started screaming, so I crawled up there to get him. Another little kid looked at me and said, “Are you his grandpa?”
Science and Technology
A user wrote, “My very young son touched a power outlet and looked scared. “Is someone going to come and shoot me?” I had to explain the difference between “shot” and “shocked,” and it was hard to explain, and I’m not sure he got it.”
Another user wrote, “My nephew called an iPad a “tree pad” for years. We had an indoor playground called the “Tree Pad” near us, so I think that’s where the mistake happened.”
Food and Cooking
One Redditor commented, “While my 4-year-old great-granddaughter was eating her pancakes this morning, she asked, “So, what’s on our itinerary for today?”
A second Redditor added, “A tornado ripped through my town, and I was driving on the highway as it came terrifyingly close. I stopped and ran with my 6-year-old daughter into the nearest building to us, a Mcdonald’s, my heart pounding wildly, and my daughter said, “While we’re here can I get fries?” :p”
Animals and Nature
A user replied, “Sitting at the kitchen table one summer with my 4-year-old grandson, who sees a lizard outside. “Grampa, can we go outside and look at the lizard?” “Well, ok, but do you have bare feet?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and says, “No, I have kid feet.”
Home and Chores
A funny comment was, “While cleaning….Me: Let’s take a break. 4-year-old: What are we going to break?”
Bodily Parts and Functions
One Redditor replied, “I was box store shopping with my then 3yr old. She got very excited very quickly and said, “I have to go potty.” We raced the 2miles to the restroom, I got her on the pot, and she yelled. Hold your noses, ladies.”
A second Redditor added, “When my grandson was 4, he always had his hands on his crotch, and I would say “Eric, remember that is not a living room toy.” One day he answered and said, “But Nana, he’s my best friend.” Wow, what truth.”
Art and Movies
One user commented, “My four-year-old granddaughter loves to order pottery from me. (I go to my local pottery studio to create cups and bowls and plates, etc.) She’s my biggest customer. She also tells everyone that Nana is potty training.”
A second user replied, “My grandson, after watching Apollo 13 starring Tom Hanks – “You’ll never guess how it ends, Papa.”
Sports and Athletics
A Redditor commented, “I said to my own father when I was 8, “So when you were alive, did you have stuff like this?” (I was referring to my brand new bicycle).”
Health and Wellness
A funny comment was, “My oldest, upon having a tummy ache asked, “Can I have some Pepto Dismal?” It has been Pepto Dismal to me ever since.”
A second comment read, “Yrs ago while visiting a retirement home. An elderly woman asked my 5 yr old son “where a fine young man like him come from?”. He said, “From my mom’s va***a.” Without missing a beat, she replied he was as smart as he was handsome.”
Language and Linguistics
One user commented, “I was in the supermarket checking out with my toddler son in the seat of the shopping cart. He was facing an elderly lady directly behind us. She was saying how cute he was, cooing at him, etc. I am paying, and as she starts unloading her items onto the conveyor, my cute little son says, “What the hell is THAT?!” pointing at her stuff. She looked really shocked.”
Fashion and Style
One comment was, “One preK student I was testing for kindergarten placement saw that I had a sheet of letters on the desk. As she came in, she said, “I don’t know my alphabet, but do you like my dress?”
Weight and Height
A Redditor replied, “My coworker. A little girl pointed to his big belly and said, “Baby!” Her sister replied sweetly, “That’s not a baby, Emmy. He’s just fat!”
Family and Kids
One user commented, “ I was in my early 20s, and a kid said, “Are you going to be my new daddy?” I was dating a bit older divorced woman. I did not handle that well.“
History and Religion
A funny comment read, “My sister’s grandson once asked her, “Gramma, a long, long, long, long, LONG time ago, when you were a little girl, did you have a pet dinosaur? “
Another comment read, “When my son was 4, I was driving him from vacation bible school to pick up his dad at work. It was dark, and he’d been given a flashlight with “Jesus is the light and the way” on it. Irritated by the frequent on/off, I told him to leave it off to save batteries. His response answers your question. If Jesus is the light and the way, why do I need batteries?”
Gifts and Events
Finally, a Redditor replied, “At my niece’s birthday party, sixth year, she opened her gift from her father and said, “Oh daddy, you’re just trying to buy my love.”
Kids sure will say whatever is on their minds, and these Redditors definitely proved that!
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