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When an argument or fight happens at the center of the family between siblings or parents and their adult children, it can become a massive issue with the family taking sides. One Redditor found out where his family stands silently on the behavior of his sister’s son and even made it a point to let his nephew know how the family feels about him and his behavior.
Sister In Need
The original poster (OP) recently received a phone call from his sister, who was in a panic because she had gotten called into work and had no one to watch her 10-year-old son, and no one else in their family would watch him.
OP went on to say that he does not like his nephew and feels that he is an entitled little brat who gets away with everything. The nephew receives no repercussions from his mother. OP also said that he knows for a fact no one in their family likes him, and even his parents cannot stand him.
OP says his family has talked to his mother about this before and that their parents have gone as far as to sit her down to tell her they will not watch their grandson because of his behavior. He said his other siblings had conversations with her as well because he bullies the few cousins in the family he has, yet, she has done nothing to curb his behavior.
OP says he cares about his sister and has a good relationship with her, but he just cannot stand her son. However, against his better judgment, OP told his sister to drop him off, and he would watch him. OP immediately regretted this decision and said it was a nightmare.
When his nephew arrived, he was already angry he had to spend his day off with his uncle. OP went on to say his nephew refused to do anything he offered, made a mess in his bathroom, teased OP’s dog, and threw a tantrum because OP would not let him use his work computer to play games.
OP said at lunchtime, he made his nephew mac-n-cheese, but he demanded to be taken to get fast food. OP’s nephew refused to eat and dumped his food bowl on his floor. OP was extremely frustrated at this point and said this was when he “lost it.” OP didn’t yell or get aggressive with his nephew.
He just sighed and asked his nephew if he had realized that everyone in the family despised him because of his behavior. OP then told him that he was at his house because Grandma and Grandpa could not stand him and, in fact, refused to let him come to their house because he acts like a little brat.
The Boys Reaction
Due to this, his nephew started crying and locked himself in OP’s bathroom. He eventually came out and just watched tv until his mother came and got him. OP was honest with his sister and told her what happened, which ended up getting the two siblings into a massive argument. OP’s sister called him cruel, and he told her that she was to blame for her son’s behavior and he would have learned the truth eventually.
OP says his family is split over the situation and that their father thinks he got what was coming to him. Their other siblings have mixed opinions about it. His mother said that she is staying out of the situation but feels that OP should apologize and move on.
The Masses Weigh In
Redditors are a little torn on whether the Uncle should have been so brutally honest with his nephew.
A Redditor had this to say, “NTA. You did him a huge favor. Obviously, nothing anyone has said or done so far has made any impact. He NEEDS to know that his behavior is already costing him relationships and will continue to cost him relationships until he chooses not to act this way. Sometimes the truth is hard to hear, but when the truth is all that’s left, that’s what you’ve got to do. Sugar coating it would not have gotten the point across, and avoiding it sure wasn’t, either. The pain and rejection he feels will – hopefully – be a huge wake-up call. If it’s not, he will have a very lonely life. I hope you’ve saved him from that.”
Another Redditor said, “YTA 100%. I’m a teacher, so I sympathize with having to deal with behavior problems like this, but you focus on the BEHAVIOR as the problem, not the CHILD. You do NOT tell a child that nobody likes them! Especially their own FAMILY! That’s how you give kids social anxiety, not how you fix the behavior.”
A Redditor had this to say, “NTA, in my opinion. He’s still young enough to change if he wants to. If everyone keeps the truth from him, he’ll try going through life being an awful human and will get some seriously rude awakenings from people who aren’t family.”
A Redditor had this to say, “Ten-year-olds need “hard truths”? How about gentle but firm coaching? Clear expectations with fair consequences? He wasn’t “behaving” after being told his family hates him; he was scared, crying, and withdrawn.”
Redditors are torn and can not decide whether or not the Uncle did the right thing and if his nephew will benefit in the long run. What is your opinion? Would you have given him your honest opinion?
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