Misguided Paths to Parenthood: 15 Ill-Advised Reasons for Having a Baby

The decision to have a child is a weighty one, shaped by a multitude of factors. Yet, among these motivations, there are reasons that give pause. Join us as we explore the ethics and implications behind what might be considered the worst reasons to bring a new life into the world, delving into the complexities of parenthood with a critical eye toward the well-being of the child.

Grandchildren

To start, a simple answer was, “Your parent(s) wanted grandkids.”

Another answer was, “Ugh, my family would tell me that they’d pay for everything if I had a kid (money was the main reason I was waiting when I was younger). I eventually had a kid, and they haven’t given me a single penny. Bunch of liars. My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them. They always get embarrassed and change the subject.”

Church

One user replied, “My dad had an incredibly traumatizing childhood. Instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses, a person at his church told him to “have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma.” so he had six, and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. Idiot.”

Social Media

A comment was, “To use it as content on social media.”

Another comment was, “This is my baby, Beigeleigh! She’s my favorite now that Roxynn is 2 and throws tantrums that don’t fit my aesthetic.”

Competition 

One person shared, “To compete with someone.”

Another person added, “This was my ex. “We need to have babies. Other couples are beating us and are already on 3!” Don’t worry, didn’t do it.” 

Relationship Saver

A user replied, “To save the relationship. It never works. It just drags an innocent baby into a miserable situation.”

Everyone Else

One reply was, “Because everyone else has one.”

Another reply was, “Everyone else is having one in the friend group so you should too.” 

Understand the Pain

An interesting comment was, “So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is” -Mom actively tries to push it.” 

Another interesting comment said, “When I was being especially difficult, as a child/adolescent, my mom used to say “I hope someday you have a child EXACTLY like you!” I would reply “aw, thank you!” Never failed to crack her up.”

Sell Them

One upsetting reply was, “To sell them. Daughters are being sold into child marriage, and sons are sold for forced child labor in many countries.”

Another reply was, “In Cambodia in the 80s and 90s, there was an elaborate network of adoption mills working with the authorities that resulted in the kidnapping of a huge amount of children. The corruption was exposed all the way up the ladder. really horrible.”

Organs

A user wrote, “To have an organ donor for later?”

Another user added, “Unfortunately, there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow. I personally think it’s abuse.”

Specific Gender

One comment said, “Having a kid for a specific gender.”

A second comment said, “Seen a lot of this, like the Tiktok trend “Our parents wanted a boy, so we are 6 girls and no boy yet” Like are you going to keep breeding until you hit it? Sounds like there will be a favorite kid in that family.”

Family Responsibility

A user replied, “To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, I had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away).”

Another user added, “This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who’s gonna take care of my brother if something happened to me? My dad has said multiple times since I was, like 5 or 6, that I’m gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too.”

Body Image

One person said, “I know a woman who was hoping it would give her bigger boobs.”

A second person commented, “Natural looking saline implants: $3,000-$5,500. Cost of raising a child until they are 18: $300,000 (not taking into account inflation). Yeah… Also, the sagging effects after the child stops breastfeeding.”

Money

One popular comment was, “Child support benefits, any money benefits.”

Another comment was, “My Mom had me and my Brother unplanned, left us with our Grandparents, and vanished for years. Came out of the blue when I was eight to take us back. Turns out she found out about single mom welfare and wanted the checks to fuel her weed addiction.”

Childhood Dreams

A user replied, “Using them to fulfill your childhood dreams (Forcing them to be into sports when you weren’t, etc.).”

A second user added, “This was my dad. I’ll never forget going to my little brother’s gender reveal sonogram, and my dad said, “I’ll finally have my football star!” My brother is 19 and has always been a nerd. My sister was the most athletic of all of us, and she purposely injured herself in high school so he couldn’t force her to be in sports anymore.”

Cuties

Finally, someone shared, “Because you find them cute. They aren’t a pet.”

Another someone added, “Parents who see their baby may think they’re cute, but they mostly think “oh man, I can get a powernap if I go right now.” From the ones I talked to, they can’t wait for the baby to become a kid because they get to sleep.” Source: Reddit

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