Breaking Socioeconomic Barriers: Unveiling 16 Lessons Learnt From Successful Interclass Marriages
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When it comes to matters of love, the intersection of social and economic backgrounds can profoundly influence one’s perspective. Recently, a thought-provoking question surfaced on Reddit, asking rich individuals who married someone significantly poorer about the surprises they encountered in their partner’s previous way of life. This inquiry prompts introspection and invites people to share the eye-opening experiences they encountered when entering into a relationship with someone from a distinctly different socioeconomic background.
Financial Struggles
To begin, someone said, “Making financial decisions based around the three paycheck month. If you’re paid every two weeks, most months, you get two paychecks, and all of your monthly bills and budgeting are based on those two paychecks. But twice a year, there are three paydays in a month, and that’s when you can actually solve problems. That’s when you can get the car registered, or fix the dryer, or get the cat spayed. The other 10 months, you’re doing maintenance and trying to scrape by. In three paycheck months, you can actually try to fix problems.“
Frugality and Resourcefulness
A user replied, “Sandwiches. When I made him a sandwich, I only put one thin slice of meat in it. He couldn’t believe that was how I had sandwiches growing up.”
Lack of Materialism
One person shared, “I come from a family just a bit higher than the top 1%. I was walking out of my ex’s garage, and I saw a lawn mower. I asked her why they owned their own lawn mower if they weren’t in the landscaping business. That was the day I learned most people don’t hire other people to mow their lawns. I was 20. “
Another person said, “I was shocked how many tools her family could replace with a butter knife. I was also surprised how they used the same cup for everything. Each person’s cup was used for everything from coffee to wine to milk to beer. I’ve come to appreciate many aspects of my wife’s previous lifestyle. I find I’m much less stressed now, knowing how unimportant material things are.”
Trauma and Abuse
A user added, “The sheer amount of trauma and violence they endured growing up in poverty. “
Another user said, “The triggers that set him into a tailspin of depression.”
Work Ethic
One story was, “My SO said “Today I made rent” meaning “Today I’ve earned enough/accumulated enough to pay the rent,” and I realized that this is a monthly accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.”
Creative Problem-Solving
A user replied, “Not married, but dating (I’m in college for reference). I’m the daughter of a multi-millionaire, and I never knew just how many things were easily doable by hand. He did an oil change for me the other day, and I feel kinda cheated that I used to pay so much for it.”
Educational Opportunities
One person said, “About to marry him. We met in college, and my parents paid for everything while he had student loans and a part-time job to pay for everything else. If he was really hurting, his parents would transfer $40 into his account. But that was pretty rare, and they’d give him heck if he asked.”
A second person commented, “I’m not the rich one, and we’re also not married, but I was blown away that my boyfriend believed public colleges are all tuition-free. I literally had to show him the financial aid pages for a couple of schools to prove that public universities cost money. I just can’t imagine, like, not even having to think about paying for college.”
Cultural Differences
A user replied, “I live in Taiwan, and most movie theaters play just action and comedies. I kinda roll my eyes when we see ads for movies. I’m more into dramas and art-type films, but I’m also a huge Disney Fan. So past two months, we went to see Avengers, Dumbo, and Aladdin. I was super excited talking about Aladdin and how other remakes are coming out. She asked if we would see those in theaters too. I said of course, and she told me that was her fourth time seeing a movie in the theaters. It hit me that her first time was on one of our first dates. She was just to embarrassed to say anything.“
Humility and Gratitude
A sad story was, “I am not rich by any measure. Ex was not really that poor. After we married, I found out when she was 23 and married me she had never bathed in more than 2 inches of water. I filled the tub and bathed her myself. She cried.”
Limited Travel and Experiences
One funny story was “More of a funny incident, but I was the poor one. My husband, at the time still my boyfriend, took me out to a very nice restaurant. The waiter asked if I wanted pepper on my Caesar salad that was just made table side. I said sure, and he went about it. The thing is, I didn’t know you had to say stop. My husband slowly realizes this but decides to see it play out. He eventually said that I needed to say stop … I just thought a Caesar was had this way as it was my first time even eating a salad that wasn’t just iceberg and ranch dressing.”
Another story was, “So there we are sitting at the Oyster Bar, which has this amazing view of Monterrey Bay, and I look over at her, and she says “I’ve never seen the ocean before” with the same tone of voice you might say “I need to have a root canal.” I realized a couple of things at that moment, just how poor she really was and how different our lives had been,”
Survival Skills
One person shared, “She’s extremely frugal and hates buying anything we don’t need. I feel a desperate need to stock up if we have any extra money, and it’s a fight for me not to fill our house with canned and dry goods in case we don’t have enough money to buy food next month for some reason. It makes no sense, but my instinct is to hoard food because there just was never enough of it around growing up.”
Financial Independence
A user replied, “I was with a girl for a while who grew up in a pretty broken home. Still surprises me just how bad her spending habits are. She racks up credit card debt like it’s nothing.”
Another user added, “For me growing up, we were encouraged to get a credit card in our name and use it as much as possible in order to build credit. There was always money to pay it off each month, so it made sense to 1) build credit and 2) collect airline miles or whatever the reward was back in the day. When we got together, she always used cash or a debit card. She had a credit card “for emergencies” and avoided using it otherwise.”
Cheap Buys
A smart comment was, “The stuff he buys, like, don’t buy a $1.50 vegetable peeler because it’ll break the third time you use it, duh. And if a pair of shoes is $19.99, then its because they’re crap! He buys so much stuff because it’s cheap. He hasn’t yet got the hang of ‘quality over quantity’!“
Food and Nutrition
One person said, “Honestly, food insecurity. When we were first married, she would get visibly uneasy if the food in the house was running low. She never overate or anything. She was just always concerned about it. A lot of times when she was younger, she went hungry.”
Another person said, ‘My wife was born and raised in the Soviet Union. She still goes crazy for fresh fruit like it’s the most extravagant luxury.”
Housing Conditions
A comment was, “Long-term dating. Pets. I was always surprised by the number of pets she and her family had living in the trailer and how much of a share of their income they spent on them.”
Education Issues
A person replied, “Student loans. I have none. He has $550k in debt at graduation.”
A second person added, “He doesn’t remember any of his teacher’s names because he never stayed in one place more than a few months.”
Source: Reddit
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