10 Pills Women Learned Were Hard To Swallow Over the Years

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Let’s explore ten uncomfortable truths and realities that women have had to confront and come to terms with over the years. Can you think of things that women have had to learn to deal with in life?

1. You Can’t Change Someone

“Once I stopped dating men with potential, I met a well-rounded, emotionally open, and mature man who had everything I had ever dreamed of,” one shared.

“I did this by not settling for great guys with potential. I was done with being a man’s mother and teacher, hoping for change. I learned over many years only people will change when they want it. So stop thinking you can change a man, or he’ll come around because you’re terrific.”

“It’s all an illusion. Go for the one who’s done the inner emotional work and who’s mature and together, not the hot one with potential. Save yourself the heartache.”

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2. You Can Do Your Best, and It Might Not Work

One woman shared, “You can do your absolute best and put your mind 100% to something and still not get the outcome you want. I’m learning this with my husband’s cancer. We are doing everything we can. His doctors say I’m doing a great job with caretaking.”

“They joke and call me the trial coordinator and research assistant, but he’s just not getting better. I’m doing my best, and I’ve never given this much of myself to anything, but it’s just not going the way I want.”

3. Staying Healthy Takes Work

“After about 25, I realized I had to work to stay healthy – physically and otherwise. I did not see that coming, and it felt unfair at first. Then I realized that if that’s my bar for unfairness, I’ve had a pretty good life, so I should count my blessings and run,” explained another.

4. If Someone Likes You, You Won’t Be Confused About It

“I was kept on the hook with a guy for nine years. I was in love with him clearly, but I couldn’t say the same for him. He reeled me in and out like a fish and always breadcrumbed me. And he gave me just enough attention to make me think I was special and get my hopes up,” answered one.

“Still, he never followed through or treated me consistently. He did this while dating other girls, too, mind you. So I started believing that I was the girl he loved and wanted to be with, and that’s why he kept showing me attention even when he was in and out of relationships.”

“We never dated, but eventually, I realized I was waiting for something that would never happen. I don’t know if it was intentional, but I will never play this game with any man again. I completely lost all respect for him when I realized this.”

5. Intent vs. Impact

One woman shared, “Sometimes, you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important. I’ve been with my partner for five years. I love him and would tell him to bring home his favorite food so I could cook dinners and organize dates, but my health declined.”

“Doctors would not take me seriously. It led to me being able to do these things less, and although the good intentions were there, I couldn’t get out of bed to do them. I started snapping at him for things that weren’t his fault due to my frustrations.”

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“It led to him never knowing my mood or how I would react to things, significantly impacting him. He became snappy and depressed – the opposite of his normal personality. We nearly split up several times because he couldn’t put up with me anymore.”

“I knew I was behaving horribly, but I couldn’t stop it. I took time off work to push for investigations, get a diagnosis and work through my fears and frustrations in therapy to save the relationship. We are both in a much better place now, but I was always the problem.”

“We still have some days where things aren’t perfect, but what relationship doesn’t? It was a bitter pill to swallow that I might lose the man I love due to my actions.”

6. Grieving Can Be Lonely

“I’ve recently had many people I know die. I try my best to go to their funerals, send condolences/flowers/donate in their name, and do whatever their family asks,” one confessed.

“But I honestly don’t think anyone would make an effort to attend my funeral. But, for my kids’ sake, I hope someone will go and support them. It’s been a weird thing to think through. I’m not even 40 yet.”

7. Parents Aren’t Perfect

“It’s a weird balance to accept that they are people who had complicated lives and did the best they could with what they had, but their actions also caused me a lot of pain. But, on the other hand, growing older puts a lot in perspective,” one replied.

“For example, my mom was 28 when her mom died at 60. As a kid, I thought that was old. Now I’m 31, and my mom is 63. I can’t imagine not having my mom around; I see that 60 is young.”

“When I was a kid, my mom was still grieving her mom’s loss, which affected how she parented. Of course, that doesn’t excuse some of her behavior, but I can understand how she struggled.”

8. It’s Okay To Be Single

Someone admitted, “Growing up, I wasn’t interested in having a boyfriend. Still, I always assumed I’d find the ‘The One’ because that’s what always happens, right? Wrong. I’ve been single my whole life, but suddenly it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“I learned that being single is not a death sentence. It’s still a life worth living, and it’s no less fulfilling than a married one. Having a man is not the achievement we learn it is, and our lives certainly don’t depend on it.”

9. The Right Choices Won’t Always Feel Good

One explained, “That includes self-care, boundaries, and simply taking a break. I’ve had to take breaks, cut back on work, and do the minimum not to get fired (no OT, no new projects).”

“It’s been hard because it doesn’t feel right. Often, it feels selfish (like that’s a bad thing) and inconsiderate of others. I hear others’ frustration. No official complaints, mainly the informal and gossipy type.”

“Still, I’ve had to unlearn the burnout-inducing programming and listen to my body when it says it needs a break. I’ve had to learn how to be ok with communicating my needs.”

“It’s hard and can make any burnout/mental health issues worse in the short term. But, still, in the long-term, you become healthier and stronger while others learn to expect you to take care of yourself, whether they like it or not.”

10. It’s Not Always Your Fault

Finally, one warned, “Make sure you don’t go into blaming yourself. The only thing to learn is that some people will take everything you give. Others will take and also give back. Find those people.”

We hope you enjoyed this Reddit post of people expressing hard lessons they’ve learned throughout the years. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.

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Featured Image Credit: Deposit Photos – AntonioGuillemF.