The Complicated Emotions of Pregnancy Announcements in a Controlling Family
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She wasn’t excited about becoming an Auntie for the first time. Once you read this, you’ll understand why.
A new baby entering a family is usually cause for celebration; however, for this one Reddit user (23F), this couldn’t be further from the truth. Her brother and his wife have announced that they are expecting to become parents for the first time this year, which has left her feeling upset. Before assuming the worst, here’s what happened.
The Family Drama
The original poster (OP) explains that the issue relates almost entirely to her mother. OP got married in November and fell pregnant herself not long after. Although the pregnancy wasn’t planned, she and her husband were both over the moon.
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Sadly for OP, at a doctor’s appointment not long after, she discovered that she had endured a chemical pregnancy. As it was so early on when they found out, they hadn’t yet told anyone about the pregnancy because her mother is the type of person who thinks people should be married for a long time before having children.
A few weeks later, OP, her husband, and her mother were both on a car journey together to the bank to sort out some finances. On the car journey, her mom was lecturing her about how she is terrible at budgeting, and this resulted in a shouting match.
When things had calmed down, her mom dropped the bomb on her that she knew about her appointment at the pregnancy clinic and told her that she hoped she wasn’t pregnant. Understandably, this made OP upset, and she burst into tears before telling her about the chemical pregnancy.
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Instead of supporting her daughter, OP’s mom told her that she was glad because she thought that OP was too immature to have a baby. A few weeks later, her brother and his wife announced their pregnancy, and OP’s mother was overjoyed.
After congratulating the pair, OP took herself off to the bathroom for a few minutes alone to process everything. She returned to the party, and she assumed everything was fine. However, the next day her mom called her to tell her how rude she was for disappearing.
OP took to Reddit to ask whether she was in the wrong in this situation or if her feelings were valid due to her mother’s behavior.
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A Supportive Community
OP received the reassurance she was after, thanks to some well-articulated messages from the Reddit community. One person said:
“OMG! You’re an adult. Your husband is an adult. Your mother doesn’t get to have a say in your important life decisions. She only gets to give advice, and that’s even ONLY WHEN ASKED! You need to have a conversation with your mom and tell her you’ll ask for advice when you need help, but to let you do this on your own first”
Other people were more forthright in their opinions, with one user calling OP’s mom a “grade A bully”. Another user, who had gone through something similar, said:
“My mother doesn’t respect boundaries either and I have found I am a much happier person if I just keep my private life to myself. If she asks me something I don’t want to answer, I lie. I know it’s not ideal but I’m happier and she thinks she knows everything.”
What do you think? Should OP have been able to put her own feelings aside for a few hours to celebrate with her brother and sister-in-law or were her mother’s actions way too over the top?
We hope you enjoyed this Reddit thread. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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