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A forum user tells us about her story, who believes she is abusing him when she raises her voice at him and takes away his privileges.
Abuse or Discipline
The original poster (OP) says that her son came to her and let her know that he doesn’t feel safe when she raises her voice towards him. When she asked him why, he said that he thinks she might hit him. OP made it clear that she has never hit him and never plans to start.
She and her son talked, and she agreed to change the way she communicates. Her son then went on to say that he also feels unsafe when she takes things away from him for not listening when she asks him to do something. OP said that she had taken away his laptop once in the last three months because he was staying up too late on school nights.
OP clarified that the laptop was only taken at night, and was given back the next day. OP believes that her kids live a good life with minimal restrictions. She said her son could not explain why he feels this way.
That morning, OP said that her son became upset when she asked his brother where his clean hoodie was. His brother didn’t know so she asked her other son, the one from this story, if he had put all of the hoodies in the dryer like she had asked. He said yes and then OP asked his brother why he wasn’t wearing his hoodie because it was almost time to go and they all needed to have clean hoodies.
OP said she did not raise her voice or express any disappointment, Nonetheless, her son went to school upset, saying he “doesn’t want to be around her.” OP says she doesn’t know what she is going wrong.
Is OP abusing her son by raising her voice and taking away his privileges? Is the son justified in his assertions, or is he crying wolf? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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