Parenting Tips for Lasting Love: 20 Valuable Lessons We Learn From Our Parents
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Curious about the wisdom our parents can impart on relationships? Online discussions have revealed intriguing insights from individuals who’ve observed their parents’ relationships throughout the years. From effective communication techniques to navigating cultural disparities, they’ve gathered invaluable advice on love, life, and the essential ingredients for enduring love stories. So, settle in, brew a cup of tea, and delve into the captivating perspectives shared by these individuals on the lessons our parents can teach us about relationships.
Communication
To start, a reader wrote, “Communication is important both in style and content. My parents were both very smart, but they had a hard time talking to each other instead of at each other. If they had figured out a way to actively listen and respond, I think there would’ve been a lot less arguments.”
A second reader replied, “Passive aggression is never the answer and always leaves the other person hurt and confused. Communication is always the answer.”
Compromise
A user replied, “That it’s a partnership of give & take, having each other’s back, and not about winning or losing.”
Love
One user replied, “Being in love with each other is not always (if ever) enough.”
A second added, “I’m sorry, but love is not enough, not on its own.”
Divorce
A straightforward comment was, “That sometimes staying together isn’t better for the kids.”
Another to-the-point comment read, “Divorce can very much be the answer. It certainly beats staying together and making each other and the kids miserable.”
Gender Roles
A user said, “I hate the “Happy Wife, Happy Life” saying. I’ve grown up with a family that has worked exactly like this. If my mom isn’t happy, everyone walks on eggshells because she might scream or yell at someone.”
A second user added, “How not to be like my mom in creating learned helplessness in my dad. 66 years old and still can’t run a washing machine. Smh.”
Cultural Differences
One person commented, “Compromise and sacrifice. My parents are from two different countries. My mother moved to be with my father. Then when I was a teen, we moved back to my mother’s birth country so she could be close to her elderly parents. Both were/are willing to change jobs and move away from friends and family for each other.”
A second commented, “Never EVER EVER marry a guy because of some sort of religious or cultural obligation. I’ll end up as miserable as they are, unable to leave, because of peer pressure from a BOOK written thousands of years ago.”
Finance
A popular comment was, “Not to rely on someone else and have your own money.”
A second person added, “to always be financially independent from anyone.”
Emotional Support
One reader replied, “Friendship is key in a relationship. My parents may have butted heads, but they were also friends who never failed to share a laugh or support each other.”
Conflict Resolution
A user commented, “You can be together for 30+ years and still have issues. It’s mostly a matter of how willing you are to tolerate them.”
Infidelity
A popular comment read, “I learned it is possible to be loyal to one person for many years. However, it is not for all people.”
Another was, “If they cheat once, they will cheat again.”
Intimacy
One person replied, “Keep the romance alive. They go on dates several times a month.”
Parenting Styles
A user responded, “Having children doesn’t fix the issues in a relationship.”
Mental Health
A smart comment was, “That mental illness explains bad behavior but does not excuse it.”
Another comment was, “Mental health is incredibly important to manage before you have kids unless you want all your kids to have trauma.”
Respect
A user commented, “I never want to be in a relationship with someone who I’m dependent on and who doesn’t respect me.”
A second user added, “Respecting each other matters more than who you vote for or what you believe in. “
Domestic Violence
One reader said, “If they hit you once, they will hit you again.”
A second reader replied, “I learned that if you give your body to every single man you can, desperately trying to earn just a smidgen of some kind of love, you’ll end up with multiple children, a lot of black eyes, and a hefty drug addiction to numb the pain.”
Family Dynamics
A funny comment was, “Don’t live with their parents. It’s never a good idea to live with the parents.”
A second comment read, “Never work together or start a business together. You need time to be apart during the day, or you’ll end up fighting constantly.”
Personal Growth
One user wrote, “Do not let someone make you feel like you can not grow personally, professionally, emotionally, etc.”
Another user added, “You both need to personally be growing before you can grow together.”
Friendship
A popular comment read, “That friendship is the key to marriage. My parents have had a lot of issues, but they love hanging out with each other.”
Another said, “I never seen them having a good time. I guess this taught me that within a relationship, regardless of what commitments you have, getting on with that person and having a friendship as a foundation is really important.”
Societal Expectations
One reader wrote, “To focus on marrying the right partner and not just marrying someone to please your parents.”
Another reader added, “There’s no rush to marry. Take your time finding someone compatible. Bc my parents got married QUICK, too fast to realize that they’re not a good match. Unhappily ever after due to a culture that does not permit divorce.”
Trust and Honesty
Finally, a person replied, “A healthy relationship where two people genuinely love and trust each other is possible but doesn’t mean it’s the norm. they’re the one healthy adult relationship I had around me growing up, so it may have set my standards high. I’m not settling for anything less than what they have”
Source: Reddit
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