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A Reddit user shared her story of “firing” her sister-in-law as her bridesmaid.
The Big Day
The original poster (OP) said that she asked her sister-in-law (SIL) to be one of her bridesmaids after she got engaged in 2020. She was super excited, and they got along really well at the time. OP and her husband finally set a date for their wedding in 2024, but OP and her SIL no longer get along. OP and her fiance welcomed a baby in 2022, and since then, her mother-in-law (MIL) and SIL’s attitudes have changed.
A week after OP gave birth, they visited her MIL and SIL so they could bond with the baby. At one point, OP’s MIL yelled at her after overhearing a conversation between OP and her fiance about a fee for a medical appointment. OP’s SIL took her side, and now they don’t talk as much.
After that, they went to a luncheon with OP’s in-laws and her fiance’s grandparents. His grandma smokes, and every time she would light a cigarette, OP and her fiance would take the baby for a walk around the garden to get away from the smoke. They tried not to be rude or obvious about it.
OP’s MIL still ended up calling them rude and getting into it with OP’s fiance. OP’s fiance told her that if she continues to act like this, she will no longer be allowed around them or the children. OP’s SIL then called OP’s fiance and abused him over the phone, and called OP names.
OP decided that because of this, she no longer wants her SIL to be one of her bridesmaids. They don’t talk even at family events and have each other blocked on social media. OP knows that she will have to clarify it with her at some point.
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The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community was quick to rally support for OP.
One user said, “NTA. SIL is absolutely miserable. I can’t imagine she would want to be your bridesmaid anymore anyway. Also, anyone who smokes in a closed room and insists that a newborn stay in that room is outrageous. That is just outrageous.”
Another user gave OP a great suggestion as to how she should approach the conversation with her SIL. “NTA There is plenty of time between now and the wedding and no money has been spent. Just send a text that while you had been looking forward to having her as a bridesmaid, her recent behavior has left you upset and that if you two can’t work this out for the sake of the greater family dynamic that you don’t want her in the wedding party.”
Is OP right to fire her SIL as a bridesmaid? Should her SIL apologize for her behavior? How would you react in this situation?
Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.