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What do you do if your spouse doesn’t like your cooking? Should they let you know or just keep it to themselves?
A Reddit user shares her story of being frustrated and upset because her boyfriend said he didn’t enjoy her cooking.
The original poster (OP) explained that her boyfriend came to visit her while she was caring for her sick father and brother. OP decided that she wanted to make tomato soup for them. OP adds that her boyfriend hates tomatoes. She asked him to taste-test the soup for her to see if it was missing anything.
He said he would be a “biased source” since he doesn’t like tomatoes. OP told him to “get over himself” and that her family is sick and she needs him to pitch in. He wasn’t happy about it, but he tasted the soup for her. OP said that by the time she was done having him taste test her soup, he looked like he wanted to puke.
The Unwilling Taste-Tester
OP still felt like something was missing, so she asked him what he thought. He said it was great, he just didn’t like it because of his own personal tastes. OP snapped and told him to get over himself again, and that he just needs to be “up front” about whether it was good or not.
He shrugged and said, “yeah, it’s really good.” OP then said, “okay, if it’s so good why don’t you eat a bowl?” He reiterated that he just really doesn’t like tomatoes, but that he swears the soup is good. OP said she was really hurt by him “refusing her cooking” after he saw her work really hard on it.
He must have seen how disappointed she looked because he acquiesced and said he would eat a bowl. As they ate, she asked him if he liked it, and he said, “yeah” but OP said there was no enjoyment or emotion when he said it. After he finished eating, he said he had to go home and he left. OP said she hasn’t really heard from him since then.
The Masses Weigh In
Other Reddit users were quick to criticize OP’s behavior.
One user said, “Taste your own cooking. Don’t force people to eat things they don’t like and then expect them to act like they do. You were majorly controlling and abusive, I hope he clues in to this behaviour and doesn’t return.”
Another user broke the whole situation down:
“Pressured him into tasting something she knows he doesn’t like
Pressured him into admitting it tasted good- which he didn’t agree with, but couldn’t say no bc she would have been pied- she’d already snapped at him about saying it wasn’t to his personal taste
Played mind games with him after he said it was good “if it’s good then why wouldn’t you eat it” He couldn’t admit it wasn’t good bc that would be saying she made bad soup, which gets him in trouble
Agrees to just eat some bc he’s already been pressured, snapped at, and “sees on her face” that’s she pi**ed, and he doesn’t want to deal with further harrassment
YTA. He’s at home not talking to you bc he’s just figured out he might be in an abusive relationship. This literally reads like a playbook of how to manipulate people and break them down.”
Another user cut right to the chase and said that OP is just a terrible partner. “You’re deranged. I love mushrooms, my husband hates them. He goes out of his way to cook mushrooms on the side that I can put into things when he cooks. He loves bell peppers, I hate them. I go out of my way to cook bell peppers on the side so that he can put them into things when I cook. We both don’t like tomatoes. So we don’t use tomatoes. This is very basic stuff that a normal, loving partner would do. Why the heck would you go out of your way to make your boyfriend suffer…? You’re a terrible partner.”
Was OP right to be hurt that her boyfriend didn’t like her cooking? Should OP’s boyfriend have had to eat the soup even though he didn’t like it? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.