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A Reddit user shared her story of expecting her parents to pay for her wedding and getting an unsavory response.
Financially Well Off
The original poster (OP) explained that she is getting married soon. Her fiance is a teacher and she works for a tech company. OP said they do well financially. They have been together for four years and finally decided to set a date. His parents are happy and her parents are overjoyed.
OP said that the one downside is that her parents are expecting a “massive” church wedding with a few hundred guests. OP wanted to do Jamaica in the summer during her fiance’s time off. OP said she is willing to do what her parents want, but will not pay for it. She and her mom met with a wedding planner and the quoted amount was between $35k-$40k.
OP said if they go the resort in Jamaica, it will cost around $10k. That would include paying for her fiance’s parents and nephew’s travel expenses. OP’s parents know how much money she makes and are insisting that she pay for the wedding herself. She and her fiance have been very clear.
OP said that if her parents want to show off to their friends, they can pay for it. OP and her husband even volunteered to contribute the money she would have spent to bring their in-laws to Jamaica. OP’s mom said she’s being a jerk for denying her the chance to see her only daughter married in front of friends and family. OP said she is not denying her mother that, she just won’t pay for it. OP said that her parents can most definitely afford the wedding.
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The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community was quick to give their opinion.
One user said, “NTA. If they want the $40k wedding, then they pay for it. Otherwise, stick to your $10k plan. In fact, do that anyway. That’s what you and partner want, and this is YOUR wedding.”
Another user said, “NTA This is why I eloped lol. Honestly the audacity of your mother to EXPECT a wedding you don’t want and also not want to pay for it is astounding. Do what makes you happy. Don’t back down on this.”
Another user said, “NTA. Your mom can have the wedding she pays for. You don’t want a wedding, she does. You want to go to Jamaica. It’s your money, mom doesn’t get to tell you how to spend it. Best wishes on your upcoming Jamaican wedding or honeymoon. Mom either comes to the wedding or she doesn’t. No one is entitled to a wedding on someone else’s dime.”
Another user pointed out that OP’s mother is projecting in this situation. “NTA. Your parents (your mom specifically) are trying to force you to make their wedding dream a reality. That’s really weird. I’m with you, if they really want that, they can foot the bill – it’s for their friends anyway. It’s your wedding, you get to decide where and how you want to do it. Congratulations!!! :)”
Is OP right to expect her parents to pay for the wedding that they want? Should OP foot the bill and do what her mother wants? How would you have reacted in this situation?
Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.