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The average cost of a wedding in the US currently stands at $30,000. While some people will be able to spend less than that by taking certain shortcuts, the outlay of a wedding is rarely cheap and requires a lot of savings. A user (30F) has recently taken to Reddit to say that her boyfriend (34M) feels that using their savings on a “big” wedding is a bad way to use it. Here is why…
A Better Use for them Elsewhere
The original poster (OP) explains that one of the biggest issues in the argument is how they both define a “big” wedding. For him, a big wedding is merely her inviting all of her family to the event, which to her is non-negotiable.
OP explains that she does have a big family so the guest numbers would quickly rack up (which is a big factor in the price also going up) but that she wants them all to be there when she gets married. After all, she’s only planning on getting married once so wants her family to be there.
For her, a “big” wedding would be one with loads of lavish decorations and expensive, something that she isn’t particularly interested in. She’s told her boyfriend that she doesn’t want a flashy wedding but that she does want all of her family there.
He isn’t budging on his stance, though, and is adamant that they would be better served spending their savings on something else. A wedding begins and ends in one day and it a huge outlay.
This will be the second time that OP’s boyfriend has gotten married and she is starting to think that because he has already been there and done it once he isn’t as excited or interested in it the second time around. This is causing a lot of upset and tension in the relationship at what should be an exciting time.
She took to Reddit to not only vent her frustration at the situation but also to ask if she is right to be offended by his attitude.
A Mixed Reaction
Perhaps surprisingly, the most liked comment in the thread was from someone who was leaning more toward supporting OP’s point of view. Their comment read:
“No, you shouldn’t be offended, you should view it as an opening offer in a negotiation. He doesn’t want a “big” wedding because he’d rather spend the money in a different way.
So your counteroffer is, you want all of your “big” family to attend, but you are willing to have it be an outdoor affair in a park with a picnic lunch, or something similarly affordable. You get the family attending; he gets the reasonable budget.
The point is you can probably both get what you most care about – but not if you get offended. Adopt a win-win perspective, and have a happy marriage.”
Plenty of people agreed with this viewpoint with one user adding that “a big wedding does not have to be an expensive wedding.”
There wasn’t much support at all for OP in the comments, although one user did suggest that the pair needed to iron out how they view their finances before tying the knot to avoid similar issues when married.
What are your thoughts on the situation? Is OP right to be annoyed at her partner for having this negative attitude towards a “big” wedding or is his point entirely valid and worth considering? Let us know in the comments.
We hope you enjoyed this Reddit thread. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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