The Impact of Parents Kicking Kids Out at 18
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Today, we explore a sensitive topic that has sparked debates and raised questions about parental responsibilities and the transition into adulthood. What are your thoughts on parents who choose to kick their kids out as soon as they reach the age of 18?
Financial Challenges
To begin, one user commented, “My mum kicked me out at 16. When I got advice to go on an independent youth benefit, they had to contact my mum to basically say she didn’t want me. She turned around and said that I can come back whenever I want. So I was denied financial support. Then I found out she had moved to another Island. I don’t talk to her much.”
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A second user said, “I recall renting a house I could not afford to heat and living off the scraps left in bus pans under the grill at a Hardee’s that I cleaned at night while still in high school.”
Emotional Impact
A Redditor replied, “I went to school with some people like that. Immediately kicked out at 18. How can they expect to continue their education when they now have to immediately start making enough for food and shelter? Inevitably, most got married and divorced or at least pregnant young too.”
Cultural and Generational Parenting Differences
A popular comment was, “Dad didn’t want to have kids. Once we were 7 or 8 years old, my mother pretended to still like us, but she didn’t seem to (she had a more independent personality). I believe that many past generations had children more out of obligation than out of a genuine desire to be parents for the rest of their lives.”
Legal Implications
One honest user replied, “Kicking out your kid as soon as you’re legally allowed to do so tells me you wanted them out of the house even earlier and the only reason you didn’t do it is because you didn’t want to be arrested.”
Parent-Child Communication And Understanding
A comment was, “You’re 18. You’re on your own. Don’t ask us for anything because we don’t owe you any more support. “… 20+ years later…“I know we made it clear that we won’t do anything to help you, but now that you’re successful and have something that WE want (a grandchild), we’re willing to amend that agreement so that family is super important to us. It’s so lonely after we drove everyone away!”
Negative Home Environment
A surprising story was, “My older brother was a complete narcissistic as****le. He would hit me often and told me if I told my parents, he would kill me. He was constantly causing problems with my parents. My Father told him that on his 18 birthday, he could have breakfast in the house, but his lunch was going to be on the front porch in a paper bag, so pack a suitcase. My Father was true to his word. One of the greatest days of my life.”
Another said, “t depends on the kid. We kicked out our daughter because she became violent and attacked my wife. Our son is welcome to stay until he is ready to leave.”
Long-Term Effects On Parent-Child Relationships
One Redditor wrote, “Was one of those kids, haven’t spoken to my “parents” in over 10 years. Have no intention of speaking to them any time in the future either.”
Another Redditor added, “Brother was out before 18, and I was out at 18, and my dad didn’t even have a funeral. Should tell you about all you need to know about parents who kick their kids out asap.”
Balancing Independence And Guidance
A user replied, “Like, I understand some people need a harsh nudge and that they will have to learn at some point to live without you, but isn’t it a better testament to your parenting for your children to be able to leave on their own accord and flourish, without you having to kick them out?”
Parental Expectations And Societal Norms
One comment was, “My bf got kicked out at 18, and his parents literally said to his face “since you were an accident and we didn’t mean to have you, we need you out of the house now so we can actually relax like we used to before you were born.”
Emotional Maturity For Independence
One sad story was, “I work in homeless services, focusing on transitional-aged youth between 18 and 24 who have been in the foster care system or Probation camp. The amount of youths who I have worked with who get kicked out at 18 is disgusting. As soon as they turn 18, the checks for fostering youth stop. The foster parents no longer feel incentivized to house these youths, regardless of the bonds formed. So out they go to make room for another paycheck to come in. To top it off, neither the foster parents nor the system prepare these youths for the reality ahead. They are extremely financially illiterate and have no idea how to navigate life. It’s so sad and depressing.”
Economic Factors Influencing Decisions
A user said, “Generally speaking, I’d say those parents don’t understand the reality of the current economic landscape and that unless they made a herculean effort, they probably didn’t set their kid up properly to do well.”
Struggles Of Young Adults Living Independently
A shocking comment was, “It’s terrible! My fiancé’s birthday is the 26th of December – a day after Christmas. On his 18th birthday, he was told by his father he was now an adult and had to go. No warning or anything. He had to move into his car that same week. And yet, 25 years later, his father has the audacity to continuously ask us for money to pay his bills.”
Building Resilience And Self-Sufficiency
One upset user said, “I’ve never met anyone who does this and is also a decent human being. They’re always like “kids gotta learn to stand on their own two feet. I don’t care if my kid is homeless and gets assaulted. Life’s not fair, lol. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps like I did when my dad gave me a company in 1973.”
Extended Family And Community Support
A user replied, “Had to pay half my salary after I turned 18 to my parents to rent the room I lived in for free until then. Still treated like a child, though, and still do all my chores. The amount was equivalent to renting my own small apartment, but idiot me did not realize at the time. When I left that job, because I had ambition for something more, I got kicked out at age 20 with his exact words: “I don’t know what to do with you. Go.” Left for the city and mostly didn’t have a place to sleep, no food, nothing. Fortunately, I could crash at my girlfriend’s place (now wife).”
Parental Obligations And Preparing For The Future
Finally, someone said, “They’re fools, selfishly setting up their children for a life of unnecessary hardship and struggle.”
Source: Reddit
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