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Ok ladies, the men have spoken, and they’ve got some things they think we need to know asap.
Someone recently asked Reddit, “Men, what is one thing you want all women to know?” After several thousand men weighed in, these are the top-voted responses.
1. Not Talking Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Love You
One man explained, “Sometimes I don’t want to talk. It has nothing to do with you or anything wrong, but me just enjoying not speaking.”
Another agreed, “There will be times my girlfriend comes home, and I’m genuinely happy to see her, but I’ve enjoyed the silence and don’t feel the need to talk. My love language isn’t through speech.”
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2. “Nothing” Isn’t Always A Lie
One man suggested, “If you ask a guy ‘What are you thinking about?’ and he says ‘Nothing’ – he’s not lying. We can do that.
Although sometimes, when I say ‘nothing,’ it may be something too embarrassing or banal to share like I will be replaying a movie scene in my head and trying to get the dialogue right. Nobody needs to hear that.”
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3. Tell Men How You Feel
“Just because your feelings are obvious to you doesn’t mean they’re obvious to me. I can’t read minds; explain it, and I’ll understand,” shared one. Several others agreed with the sentiment.
4. Listen and Try To Understand
“Please don’t assume everything obvious to you is obvious to me. If I disagree with you, instead of getting mad, please try to understand my point of view first, ask more questions, and I’ll answer them as honestly as possible,” answered another.
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5. Many Men Were Raised to Suppress Vulnerable Emotions
“Many men are raised with the expectation that they must suppress vulnerable emotions,” one replied. “Simply telling a man they need to communicate better isn’t going to reverse decades of emotional suppression.”
6. Many Women Don’t Understand Men Having Vulnerable Emotions
On a similar note, one stated, “Many women are not used to men being vulnerable and don’t have the skills to appropriately acknowledge them because, as a norm, society has neglected men expressing emotion.
An interesting part of Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly book is when a father finally opens up to his family about how stressed he is between his career and life goals and that he’s been depressed.
Instead of warmly comforting the man, his family often alienates him because they’re used to seeing him as a stoic figure, not a human being.”
7. Men Have to Be More Cautious
Many men have to be more cautious when reading cues from a woman. One admits, “Most guys know the consequences of women getting the wrong idea, so even if they think a girl is flirting with them, they will often overcorrect or second-guess their estimations and wait for more explicit confirmation.
The girl will assume he’s not interested because she feels he’s rejected her hints. In reality, the guy either doesn’t even realize she’s flirting, or he’s picked it up. But he isn’t sure of her intentions and doesn’t want to make the wrong assumption.”
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8. Stop Blaming the Guy For “Being Oblivious.”
One man confessed, “I’m sick of people blaming ‘being oblivious’ on the guys in this situation. If you communicate with implications, passiveness, and beating around the bush, you deserve every non-result. It applies to every relationship, not just women trying to hit on men.”
9. Many Men Don’t Like Small Talk
Many men in the thread agreed that you should be able to avoid small talk with intimate partners. One explained, “In my experience, I enjoy just spending time doing things with people.
We don’t have to have deep conversations. So when you ask, ‘how’s your friend,’ we don’t know. We spent time together doing something we both enjoy, talking about whatever that was.”
10. You Can Be the One to Approach
Some women don’t think men like to be approached, whether for help or because they’re attractive. One recommends, “It’s okay to approach us. We won’t get offended. On the contrary, we’ll be deeply flattered.”
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11. Not All Men Are Going to Hurt You
One man wants women to know, “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just walking in the same direction. Sorry for giving you a heart attack for a second trying to get ahead of you because I feel nervous walking behind you, thinking you’re scared of me.”
12. Be Sincere With Compliments
“Don’t compliment us unless you’re serious. We take that extremely seriously and will think about any compliment you give us for years,” admits another.
13. Order Food and Eat!
Some women assume that a man will judge you if you eat too much or something too hearty, but the good ones don’t even think, “Order as much food as you like. I don’t care. Don’t order something tiny or boring and then eat my food.”
14. Sometimes, We Don’t Know
One man shared, “Sometimes we don’t know if you want an honest answer about your clothes, hair, make-up, perfume, cooking, driving, etc.”
15. We May Not Say “I Love You” With Words
A final commenter noted, “We may not say I love you with words. But instead with non-verbals. Sometimes just a shoulder squeeze or a hand across your back as we walk by.
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Or a kiss on the back or top of the head. Or a hand squeeze. Just because we say it nonverbally doesn’t mean that it means less. Often the opposite.
More From Motherhood Life Balance:
- 10 Things Women Do That Men Said Are an Immediate Turn Off
- 10 Surprising Phrases Your Partner Is Using to Gaslight You
- 10 Honest Things Women Aren’t Ready to Hear According to Men
Featured Image Credit: Deposit Photos – IgorVetushko.
As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.