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Having siblings is an absolute blessing, and they’re your first friends and some of the first people in this world that you bond with.
Having good supportive siblings as you grow into adulthood is also a really special thing, especially if they want to go above and beyond to help you!
This sister recently discovered that the olive branch she extended to her sister was taken and squeezed from every last drop.
The original poster (OP) began by saying that recently her sister was in a bad place, so OP and her husband paid to move her and her two children (15 and 3) across the country to get away from their current situation and be closer to family.
OP and her husband set her up with a place to live with a friend that was subletting part of his apartment, lent her their van, and got her a cellphone. This all happened over the last 10 months.
For those previous 10 months, OP’s sister has not looked for a job or offered money to her sister, brother-in-law, or roommate to help pay the rent or living expenses for her family. Because of this, the roommate decided to move out, forcing OP’s sister to find a job and get a new place.
OP’s sister did find a job and an apartment she could afford, but there was an overlap time between when she had to be out of the current apartment and when she could be in the new apartment.
OP’s sister planned on staying in a hotel for the 2-week overlap. Recently, on a Saturday, OP’s sister asked if she and the kids could come to hang out with OP and her husband.
OP said, of course. After the evening was winding down, OP’s sister asked if she and the kids could stay the night. OP agreed and had to reschedule her birthday plans with friends but was happy to host.
The following day, OP’s sister said she was signing the lease papers for their new apartment on Monday and asked if it would be ok if they stayed one more night. OP, again, agreed to let them stay.
Unwanted House Guests
OP went on to say that Monday came, and her sister left in the morning and returned later that evening and said she put the application in for the apartment and she’s sure she’ll be approved by Friday. OP was annoyed that her sister had lied about this but did not want the children to sleep in the van or anywhere else.
OP said she spent Tuesday afternoon (her birthday) venting to her husband about the current situation with her sister. While staying at her house, OP’s sister had their animals, one dog, and two cats staying in their van, and OP’s sister sent her a text that her cat had kittens in their van that day. OP said her sister said she assured her that she told her about the female cat she took in, but OP said she did not.
On Tuesday night, all night, OP’s sister was going in and out of the house to the van to check on her cat and to heat the van up for the kittens. This caused OP’s dogs to bark at the door all night.
When OP got up in the morning to get her kids ready for school, she found that her sister’s kids were still there, and her sister was not. OP had an appointment to tour a facility for her grandmother, and after that, OP’s husband had plans for her birthday.
OP called her sister and found out that she’d gone to work. OP was upset and told her she couldn’t just leave her kids there and that they’re supposed to be in school, OP’s sister’s oldest son has autism and isn’t self-sufficient, so OP can’t just leave him with the 3-year-old.
OP told her sister she needed to leave work and come get them now. Her sister said it wasn’t her fault. The van was out of gas when she got up and only had enough to get to work, not bring them to school and get to work. OP’s sister said she thought OP could just take them to school when she got up, OP then reminded her sister that she had an appointment and birthday plans and that what she was doing was unacceptable.
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The Blow Up
OP’s sister said she didn’t know that her staying with them was such a burden. OP responded that her and her kids being there was no issue. It was that she was now taking advantage of her sister and their hospitality.
OP’s sister called her selfish, along with some other harsh words, and hung the phone up. When OP’s sister got back to their house, she said to OP, not to worry, that she’ll never ask for OP’s help ever again, and that she and the kids will just sleep in the van in the cold.
She then told OP to “enjoy your day, princess,” and left. OP says she feels awful but knows that boundaries are important but feels like her sister has crossed many of them.
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The Masses Weigh In
Redditors gave their opinions on this sister situation and helped determine who was in the right and who was in the wrong.
One Redditor said, “She will never ask for (your) help ever again…”. Promise? Get her out as soon as you can and then hand her off to her other four siblings, next time she wants a little favor. NTA”
A second Redditor said, “She’ll never ask for OP’s help again…”… proceeds to move out into the van that … check notes … she’s currently borrowing from OP. Also, I’m starting to believe ‘the bad place’ she was in before, was a bad place of her own making, and OP got fed a victimized version of what actually happened.”
A third Redditor wrote, “NTA: she knows how to emotionally blackmail you! She’s been dependant on you for the last 10 months then asks you to do “this one thing”. She knew she wasn’t approved for the apartment. She knew it would be a week at your house. She just used you. And your van?! Are you sure you want it back after those cats and dogs have lived in it for how long?!
Let her try her luck with the other siblings- sounds like she knows they’re not going to pay out.”
Another user said, “she’ll never ask for my help ever again”
“Get it in writing NTA”
Finally a Redditor shared, “NTA !!!! She’s trying to manipulate you kick her out or else you’re never gonna get rid of her. Her saying that she’s never gonna ask you for help again and she’ll just live in the van is literally a form of manipulation please kick her out for your own sanity before this gets worse because it well she will keep pushing your boundaries.”
Redditors knew exactly who was being taken advantage of and agreed the OP should have made her sister come home to take care of her children. What do you think? Would you have done the same thing?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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