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Recently someone proposed an interesting question for women on the internet. How do you want men to communicate with you? Are there certain things that set you off more than others? Here are some of the top-voted confessions.
1. Relate to me Like a Human Being
One woman volunteered, “I want men to communicate with me as if I am human. Wild concept, huh?” She elaborated that if it’s not how you would say it to a man, don’t say it that way to a woman.
Others clarified that this means women’s experiences are as valid as men’s experiences. Also, it means that women mean what they say, just as men do.
2. Forget Devil’s Advocating
Several women in the thread confessed they wanted men to forget they ever heard the Devil’s Advocate concept. One suggested that every man she has met that plays devil’s advocate is a “full-blown misogynist masquerading as a feminist.”
Another added that devil’s advocate is code for “I’m gonna undermine anything you say because I want to win.” Furthermore, she believes that it’s rarely done in good faith.
3. Validate My Feelings
Having your feelings validated instead of trying to solve the problem being discussed is what one woman admitted she wants 99% of the time from men and women.
She clarified that she already knows how to solve the problem, and suggesting otherwise is insulting. Instead, she wants validation and stated that if unsure, men should ask, “Do you want me to solve this or validate your emotions?”
4. Be Genuinely Friendly
Only being acknowledged because of your “hotness” is super crummy. It sucks knowing men pretend to be interested and only nice to you if they are attracted to you or are a friend.
Somebody pleaded, “Just be a good and friendly person all around, please!” Another acknowledged the reverse side of the coin, ignoring women because there is no attraction to them.
5. Don’t Call Me Sweetheart
Nobody admitted to enjoying being called “sweetheart.” One even confessed it makes her “have stabby thoughts.” Finally, another shared she hates being called sweetheart or honey by anyone but her husband. She elaborated that it felt uncomfortable and a bit condescending.
6. Stop Minimizing When We Call You Out on Something Inappropriate
Minimizing and invalidating women when they call out inappropriate behaviors and archaic beliefs instead of understanding why they’re voicing the concern is a no.
Additionally, one pointed out the obnoxiousness of when men get in their feelings after being called out for their inappropriateness. Then act like they need to be comforted.
7. Stop Shouting
Women voiced their desire for men to stop shouting. One suggested many men experience the tiniest of good or bad feelings and start raising their voices. “You’re not a child, and I’m not going to respect an adult with tantrums like a toddler.”
Others noted, “then they turn around and call us the emotional ones. Let us not forget anger is an emotion too, my guy.”
8. Talk to Me, Not at Me
Women in the dating game explained how many dates they’ve been on that turned into “one-sided interviews” that left them questioning, “Do you want to know anything about me?” So the idea of talking to women, instead of at women, was heavily favored.
9. Don’t Google Me
Imagine being Googled every time you open your mouth. One woman explained being in a relationship where he needed to verify her statements with Google sources. However, she mentioned he never “felt the need” to provide Google sources for anything he said.
She clarified that it made her feel like he thought she was stupid. Noting, “It becomes exhausting and belittling when everything I say is met with disbelief.”
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10. Stop Dismissing Women as “Emotional.”
Finally, women admitted they’d love it if men stopped dismissing them as “emotional” just because they’re setting a healthy boundary. One added discussing feelings is a healthy activity that doesn’t make a woman emotional.
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