The Wedding Ordeal
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A Redditor recently shared a story about how he did not “re-invite” his children to his wedding again after they had RSVP’d no. Him and his wife were divorced, and she remarried. They had both happily moved on, and his kids were now 17 and 18 years old. At one point, his ex-wife became sick with an aggressive form of cancer.
He called his children to check in on them and connected with them as often as possible. But he had also met his now wife, and they were planning on getting married.
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While his ex-wife was sick, he met his now-wife, and they decided to get married and sent out invitations. 4 months later, his ex-wife sadly passed away. Two months after the death, he and his now wife were to be married soon, and he reminded his children.
They RSVP’d “no,” saying he was heartless for getting married two months after their mother had died. He said the wedding was still happening and hoped they would change their mind.
The End Result
The OP got married, and his kids found out. They called him and said he was disrespectful and rude for not postponing the wedding or calling them again and asking them to come.
He told them they had known the time and place for more than 4 months, made room for them, and had extra food if they had decided to show up after RSVP-ing no. They are both still mad, but he does not think he is in the wrong for keeping his wedding date even after the death of a woman he divorced over a decade ago.
The Masses Weigh In
However, Redditors were quick to weigh in with their opinions of the situation.
Once redditor wrote, “You didn’t plan to have the wedding intentionally to be after the funeral. I can understand them not having the enthusiasm they may have otherwise had, but by not coming, they’re rejecting the parent they have left.”
“It sounds like you’re doing what you can. I think it’s hard, even for adult children, to remember that their divorced parents are two separate households now and no longer connected in the way the kids want them to be.”
Another Redditor said “You invited them. They declined. I don’t understand why they expected you to interpret their RSVP of No as a “please come beg us to come anyway.” You’re not psychic.”
“I also don’t understand why they “found out” you got married on the date listed on the invitation that they clearly read and responded to. They already knew because you told them.”
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A top commenter in the thread added, “They said no and you respected that. What else are you suppose to do? I’m sorry for the lost of their mom but there really isn’t much you can do.”
Also, this highly liked the comment, “Once the divorced finalized your ex’s life was no longer your concern unless it impacted your children. Just keep in mind your kids are still grieving and probably had expectations that you would help in some regards in her final days, whether voiced or not. I won’t call your kids AH’s for how they acted due to extenuating circumstances ONLY, but only just. And congratulations on the new nuptials.
So what do we think; was the dad wrong for not asking his children again to come to the wedding even after they rsvp’d no?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Motherhood Life Balance.
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.