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Our parents’ relationship is a silent teacher, imparting lessons of love through shared moments and unspoken gestures. Join us in reflecting on the insights we’ve gained from their journey and understanding how their love story has shaped our own perceptions of caring, compromise, and enduring companionship.
One honest reply was, “To look for the complete opposite of my parent’s behaviors in a partner.”
Another reply was, “I came across a comment a few years back saying that ‘sometimes, your parents are the best role models… of what not to be.’ It just stuck with me since then. Couldn’t be any truer.”
A user wrote, “You can be together for 30+ years and still have issues. It’s mostly a matter of how willing you are to tolerate them.”
A second user added, “Yes! Those issues don’t go away. It’s just how you manage them and work around them.”
A comment was, “That sometimes staying together isn’t better for the kids.”
Another comment was, “As someone whose childhood was full of domestic violence, staying for the kids is never the right answer.”
Do Things Together
One helpful response was, “Do things together. My stepmom LOVES tennis, so when we moved to a neighborhood with a court, she and my dad started playing together. Now, my dad also LOVES tennis, keeps up with all the players, etc. And vice versa, when my dad became obsessed with the Tim Tebow workout plan – my mom also tried it with him and loved it. They also binge shows together and movies together.”
Kids or No Kids
One user replied, “To never have kids if you don’t both really want them.”
A second user commented, “Having children doesn’t fix the issues in a relationship.”
A reply was, “Not to rely on someone else and have your own money.”
Another reply was, “Don’t be so financially dependent on your spouse that you are too afraid to leave and be on your own.”
One comment was, “I learned that cheating ruins people’s lives.”
A second comment was, “I learned that even the people who seem most trustworthy can be cheaters. And they can be really good at hiding it.”
Give and Take
A simple answer was, “It’s a partnership of give & take, having each other’s back, and not about winning or losing.”
One user replied, “Communication is so important. Using silent treatment if you’re unhappy with something your spouse did is so toxic and had a negative effect on our family as it was used a lot of the time.”
A second user wrote, “You can’t expect someone to read your mind, communicate calmly with each other, actively listen to what the other person is saying, and solve problems together.”
A comment was, “There’s no rush to marry. Take your time finding someone compatible. Bc my parents, got married QUICK, too fast to realize that they’re not a good match. Unhappily ever after due to a culture that does not permit divorce.”
Another comment was, “To not get married young.”
One response was, “They balance each other. Both of them have faults, but they do not share them, so they always call each other out (and they always listen, never curse at each other and almost never lie) Someone always has to be the softer, clear-minded one: that’s not me, so I need someone like that.”
A person replied, “Don’t let yourself be bullied into a relationship. Don’t settle for “just ok” or “I’ll guess he’ll or she’ll do.” Settle for whatever your version of “Wow, I can’t believe I get to have you in my life” and make sure it’s mutual.”
One comment was, “That friendship is the key to marriage. My parents have had a lot of issues, but they love hanging out with each other.”
A user said, “Good relationships are usually silent relationships; don’t be flashy, don’t post a bunch on social media, and don’t think that you have to be doing things and spending money all of the time to show love. Stay out of other married couple’s business and enjoy yourselves.”
One piece of advice was, “Never work together or start a business together. You need time to be apart during the day, or you’ll end up fighting constantly.”
Finally, a user said, “People can be different, and that’s okay. Respecting each other matters more than who you vote for or what you believe in. Mom’s catholic, Dad’s atheist. Mum votes NDP, Dad votes conservative usually (Canadian parties, not American conservative) I really value seeing them respect the other’s beliefs.”
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