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“When did you realize you married the wrong person? It’s a question that can strike a chord of curiosity and intrigue, leading to stories that range from heart-wrenching to downright hilarious. Relationships can be unpredictable, and sometimes the realization dawns upon us that the person we thought was “the one” might not be the best fit after all. Through the ups and downs of marriage, people have shared their personal tales of awakening, offering insights that are equal parts insightful and entertaining.
Lack Of Communication/Emotional Connection
To begin, someone shared, “I realized that I was hiding good news from her because I knew she would make me feel bad about it. I hoped she was going to grow up and stop being selfish and childish. She never did.”
Someone wrote, “Not married but together for years. Got diagnosed with cancer, and she kinda shut off. She then decided to leave several months later. At an appointment, I was officially 1yr clear, which is a milestone. I realized I was alone through a lot of it. She never wanted anything to do with it. Was a revelation to myself that the relationship breakdown wasn’t all because of me.”
Another person added, “When I came home from the ER after being diagnosed with a severe lung disorder, and she immediately left me with the kids so she could go out drinking with friends. Her exact words were, “I need you to make them dinner. I’m running late to meet up with everyone”
An interesting comment was, “When he was messaging a side chick on our wedding day and boy did it go sideways from there.”
Another comment was, “When she f****cked a high-school flame for a year whilst hiding it and staying home on my single income. We weren’t working. I knew that. I was trying to improve things, and we’d talked about it, but she somehow neglected to give me that detail. I’m not angry that she didn’t love me. But f**ck, just tell me. Don’t do me dirty like that after thirteen years.”
Incompatible Family Goals
One simple story was, “After the kid was born. Total shift. Turns out only I wanted to be a parent.”
Another story was, “When our child was three months old, and I had the absolute worst case of mastitis. I was so weak I couldn’t even pick up the baby. I asked him to please stay home from work and help me. He told me to call my mum, then left for work.”
Lack of Support/Emotional Neglect
A user said, “When she sat me down and with a straight face said, “I’ve thought about this, and you’re not going to exercise anymore.” I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with me in a running stroller. She said you’re a father, and it’s too time-consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake, lol.”
Another user added, “When I lost twins, he dropped me off at the hospital to get an operation to have my babies removed. He dropped me off at the hospital bleeding and went to a party with his friends.”
Unfulfilled/Unhappy In The Relationship
One honest user said, “When I realized if we weren’t dating, I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend.”
Another user replied, “We had been engaged for just over a year (together for around a decade), and I realized I didn’t actually want to be with her. I just was too invested, and I didn’t want to make her upset. I knew we would end up getting divorced at some point down the road, so I decided to end it before then. Went to therapy and realized I had spent my whole childhood trying to make my parents happy, and then I immediately got into a relationship and spent all of my adulthood trying to make her happy. I was miserable because of it, but I just didn’t know.”
One person shared the story, “On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more. She said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars), and told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, and in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly.”
A user said, “Engaged, not quite married yet. When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son after having emergency surgery for nearly bleeding to death after a miscarriage, and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said, “Why aren’t the f****king dishes done?” Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there two weeks later.”
Unresolved Past Traumas/Baggage
One interesting story was, “A woman I was dating told me she divorced her husband because after his father died in his arms, he was very depressed, and she didn’t want to be around depressed people. Imagine your father died, and a few months later, your wife leaves you because you have not recovered from that.”
An upsetting comment was, “Together 15 years, married 13. She said one day, to hurt me, “I don’t find you physically, mentally, or s****ually attractive.” I recoiled. This was about 4 months ago, we’re still together, but I just can’t get over it.”
A second comment read, “My wife is definitely my soul mate and best friend. I’ll never find anyone that I can share my true thoughts/soul with. She’s everything I want in a mental partner. We complete each other in that regard. Sexuality-wise, it’s not the best match. Did I marry my best friend? Definitely. Was that a mistake? I don’t know.”
Growing Apart Over Time
Someone shared, “When I ‘booked’ a business meeting to discuss how our future would change as our teens transitioned to university, I assured him it was all positive, just wanted space to talk. It’s always been very difficult to find time to talk to him, so I figured I’d be all business-like since work has always been priority number one… that didn’t go well; I had barely opened my mouth, and he ran all over me about my ever-changing hobbies. Those ‘ever-changing’ hobbies have been guitar and oil painting for the last 8 years… I mentally checked out that day.”
One person shared, “On my wedding day. We were married at her parent’s house, a beautiful place in a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I found her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say, our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. five years later, she went into in-patient treatment, and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn’t love me and wanted a divorce.”
A shocking comment was, “When Covid hit. Lockdown was announced, and he said he had to go look after his “real family,” i.e., his mother, a healthy and capable 50yo who treated him like a child. I had those words ringing in my ears for months. Real family. How TF was I, not his real family? But I slowly realized that the big old handbrake was off, and now I’m out here living my best life.”
Another comment was, “When I realized he is exactly like my dad. temper, demeanor, lack of emotion… I was so so young I didn’t see it, and it took 9 years and the right person telling me I was right and needed to get out. slowly taking the steps.”
Stifled Personal Growth
One user said, “One day, I realized I had become a smaller version of myself.”
A sad story was, “It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby, and he went swimming with his two friends, who he insisted on coming with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry.”
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