Skip to content
  • Privacy PolicyExpand
    • Disclaimer
    • Terms & Conditions
  • About
  • Contact

Get your Beautiful Mind Journal and shop printables that make your life easier!

Shop Now
Motherhood Life Balance
  • Personal GrowthExpand
    • Self Care
    • WellnessExpand
      • Healthy Recipies
  • MindsetExpand
    • Angels and Card Readings
  • ProductivityExpand
    • Printables and Planners
    • Goal Setting
    • Schedules and Routines
  • Mom LifeExpand
    • Home Life
    • Kids
    • Money
    • Travel
Motherhood Life Balance

A Step Mom Tries to Encourage Healthy Food and To Avoid Cake For The Child’s Birthday – Too Far?

Girl on the bed sad and her family behind her
Share on Pinterest Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Email <use href="#<svg width="1em" height="1em" viewBox="0 0 32 32" class="scriptlesssocialsharing__icon flipboard" fill="currentcolor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false" role="img"> <title>flipboard</title> <path d="M24.997 13.001h-5.998v5.998h-5.998v5.998h-5.998v-17.995h17.995zM1.004 1.004v29.991h29.991v-29.991z"></path> </svg>" xlink:href="# flipboard "> Share on Flip it

Disclaimer: When you buy from links on our site, we may receive a commission at no additional cost to you.  Learn more

Being a parent brings along many issues when trying to do right by their child and teaching them important life lessons. This is more compounded when you are the step-parent of someone else’s child.

You certainly don’t want to overstep your role, but at the same time would like to instill the good habits in your new son or daughter that you are trying to teach your biological children as well. A stepmother recently found herself in a conflict with her step-daughter’s mother over how she asked her what type of dessert she’d like for her birthday.  

The original poster (OP) begins her story by saying that she has two boys, ages 8 and 10, from a previous relationship and that her husband also has a child, a girl age 6, from a previous relationship as well. She says that she and her husband have a healthy relationship and family despite being in previous relationships that didn’t work. 

Active Lifestyle

The stepmother and her husband work together to teach their children moderation with everything from food to technology and strive to teach their children that being active is an important part of health and try to get their kids moving and doing something active every day.

However, her husband’s daughter spends the majority of her time with her mother, and they only see her two weekends a month. The husband’s daughter is twice the weight of the average 6-year-old, and her mother is the polar opposite of the way they’re raising their boys. 

The stepmother says her stepdaughter’s lifestyle makes her feel sad for her and her health, so when they spend time with her, and she tries to teach her about healthy eating and being active. They have her sons play with her so she’s being active when she’s there, and they actively make a distinction between foods that are healthy and ones that are not with her.

She says when she sees one of the kids reaching for a “treat” in the food pantry, she will always ask if they would like to make a healthier choice. She says that her stepdaughter is really starting to get it, and she is now actively making better choices with food and is also asking for fruit while at home with her mother.

Birthday Treat

Her stepdaughter’s birthday recently fell on one of the weekends when she and her husband had her. While they were talking about what kind of cake to have, she asked her stepdaughter about a healthier choice.

She explains that she’s still “eating all that garbage” at home with her mother, and she feels it’s just not good for a growing girl. Her stepdaughter agreed, and they decided to have some low-fat ice cream so she could still have a sweet treat.

She requested a brand and flavor that they keep in their home that she loves and asks for every time she’s there. OP says she was so happy and proud of her choice, and her stepdaughter was excited. So she was happy with it.

Fat Shaming?

After spending her birthday weekend with her dad and step-mom, she returned to her mother’s, and the next day her mom called OP and her ex-husband furious. The girl’s mother says that when she got home, she asked about her birthday with her stepmother and father and her cake.

The woman goes on to say that the mother told them the daughter began crying because she really did want cake but didn’t want to “make a bad choice.” The biological mother accused OP of fat shaming her and her daughter and that she now owes her stepdaughter a cake and a big apology.

OP feels like she’s just looking out for the health of her stepdaughter and never said she couldn’t have cake, and she was more than welcome to have one if she said she wanted one. She says she suggested sticking to ice cream because she cares but is wondering if she went about it incorrectly.

The Internet Weighs In

Redditors gave their opinion on this birthday cake fiasco and whether the stepmother should take a step back and re-evaluate how she is dealing with the food situation at her house. 

One user said, “YTA. She’s 5. Give the child cake on her birthday and then go for a family walk after. Also, FYI, the good choice/ bad choice talk will just give her body image issues for the rest of her life.”

A second Redditor added, “The poor child is 5 years old. OP needs just to stop commenting on her stepdaughter’s diet, period. Based on OP’s attitude here, I’m worried this little girl will develop an ED by her pre-teens. I can absolutely understand why the Mom was furious.”

A third Redditor said, “My heart just breaks for this little girl. She has one home that supposedly doesn’t restrict anything and another that severely restricts everything.”

A user said,” OP, I think you mean well. But please listen to the feedback others are giving you—this isn’t how you help a 6-year-old get healthy. You will lead her to some heavy emotional baggage that could last a lifetime.”

Finally, a user also said, “YTA- are you freaking kidding me? Give the child cake on her birthday! How is a 6yo supposed to make all these “better choices” when she goes home? Just give good snacks for all.” More from Motherhood Life Balance:

15 Things That Will Die With The Boomer Generation

Woman in front of an orange screen doing thumbs down
Image credit: Depositphotos AsierRomeroCarballo.

Boomers are something. The younger generations find them selfish and full of useless advice and tips. 15 Things That Will Die With The Boomer Generation

16 Things We Need To Stop Teaching Children Immediately

mischievous bully child expressing revenge, retaliation or attitude problem, isolated
Image credit: Depositphotos – studiograndouest.

That said, not everything taught to children is either done with the best intentions. – 16 Things We Need To Stop Teaching Children Immediately

10 Things Boomers Passionately Dislike About Modern Society

Man and woman, Boomers crossing their arms looking angry in front of a pink screen
Image credit: Depositphotos Krakenimages.com.

10 Things Boomers Passionately Dislike About Modern Society – The list could probably go on forever. You might agree with some.

Mind the Gender Gap: 24 Expenses That Men Bear Alone in a World of Unequal Spending

suspicious woman and suspecting man
Image Credit: Deposit Photos – IgorVetushko.

Mind the Gender Gap: 24 Expenses That Men Bear Alone in a World of Unequal Spending – Men are often expected to pay for a lot of things when it comes to relationships.

Silly Things Boomers Say Daily

Man and woman back to back thinking
Image credit: Depositphotos vova130555@gmail.com

10 Annoying Things The Boomer Generation Says Daily Millennials and Gen Z often want them just to SHUT UP! So, What is something annoying the boomer generation always says to the younger generation?

10 Surprising Phrases Your Partner Is Using to Gaslight You

youre crazy MSN
Photo Credit: Adobe Stock.

The word “gaslighting” is thrown around a lot these days. The purpose of gaslighting is to make someone believe they are crazy when in reality, they are not.  – 10 Surprising Phrases Your Partner Is Using to Gaslight You

New Shows Streaming On Netflix in May

Queen Charlotte - A Bridgerton Story - queen and king gazin at eachother
Image credit: LIAM DANIEL/NETFLIX

Coming Soon: New Netflix Series Premiering in May – Cuddle up, get cozy and get ready to watch these great new shows releasing on Netflix this month.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
Contact

  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
On the Blog

  • Mindset and Motivation
  • Productivity
  • Mom Life
  • Web Stories
Resources

  • Basic Site Setup
  • Media Kit Templates
  • Shop Printables
  • Angel Card Readings
  • Stock Images from Depositphotos
Get Started

Manifest your best life with this free 5-day challenge
Facebook Instagram YouTube Pinterest Twitter

© 2023 Motherhood Life Balance. All Rights Reserved.

  • Personal Growth
    • Self Care
    • Wellness
      • Healthy Recipies
  • Mindset
    • Angels and Card Readings
  • Productivity
    • Printables and Planners
    • Goal Setting
    • Schedules and Routines
  • Mom Life
    • Home Life
    • Kids
    • Money
    • Travel
Search