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The bride’s vision clashed with her family’s expectations when it came to choosing who would walk her down the aisle. She made it clear that she would rather walk alone than have the family favorite take on that role.
Walking Down The Aisle
The original poster (OP) is getting married soon, and recently her mother has been making comments about her stepfather walking her down the aisle. OP went on to say she was thinking of having her uncle, who she is very close with, walk her down the aisle because of the strong relationship the two share.
Dear Uncle and Friend
Her uncle is only 8 years older than her. He took on a brother, father, best friend type role in her life, and she couldn’t see anyone else walking her down the aisle but him.
A Strained Relationship With Her Father
OP also shared she does not have a relationship with her biological father and has a strained, at best, relationship with her stepfather. OP then said the comments from her mother about her stepfather walking her down the aisle were confusing to her because she never once said that he would be the one to do it.
A Missing Emotional Connection
OP gave insight into her relationship with her stepfather by saying that although he’s been with her mom since she was 2 years old, she feels that she has no emotional connection or bond with him. She then went on to say that her stepfather had caused her a significant amount of trauma that she is still working through.
Even after this revelation, OP does say she is respectful and cordial to him, especially to her siblings, and will only call him “dad” when she refers to him while talking to her siblings; other than that, OP has no happy memories of him and couldn’t care less if he attends the wedding or not.
After telling her mother that she had no intention of letting her stepfather walk her down the aisle and instead would be having her uncle do it, her mother became hysterical. She told OP how rude and out of line this would be and went even as far as to say how poorly it will look to the guests and that her stepfather’s feelings would be hurt. OP’s mother also said she would not allow her to take this away from him and that it would embarrass her and the family.
Finances Over Relationship?
OP says that she fully understands that her step-father has had full financial responsibility for her since she was a child, but that’s as far as she feels their relationship goes. OP feels that, yes, this will cause family drama, and her sister says it will shame their mom, but OP would rather walk down the aisle alone than let her stepfather do it.
The Masses Weigh In
Lots gave their opinion on this wedding situation.
One said, “NTA. “He actually caused me a significant amount of trauma” Then he’s lucky he’s even invited. Walking you down the aisle is not his right. And if it makes your mom look bad, she should have done a better job protecting you from him. This is your wedding. Walk with whomever you feel is best down the aisle.”
Support for Her
A second said, “Maybe he should have thought of what people would think when he traumatized his stepkid instead of being a loving parent. Maybe Mom should have thought of that. No need for a compromise.”
A user had this to say, “Your step dad doesn’t get to be mad over not getting something he hasn’t earned. NTA.”
NTA – They’ve Decided
Finally, a user said, “NTA-. Next time Mom brings it up (and she will)) look her dead in the eye and say “Mom, I already told you Uncle Pat is walking me down the aisle. We are not moving on from this conversation until you acknowledge that you heard and understand what I am saying.” Source: Reddit
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