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It’s a girl, nope, sorry, it’s a boy! When you find out the sex of your baby, it’s a moment you will remember forever. It’s normal for some to hope for a boy or a girl, but what if your partner disapproves of your reaction?
Could you be told not to go to the baby shower or birth? That’s exactly what happened in this story.
A Reddit user tells her story of her husband being more excited about having a boy than a girl and now she doesn’t want him at the birth.
The original poster (OP) explains that she and her husband have a daughter and are pregnant again. OP went to her doctor’s appointment to find out the gender and thought it was another girl. Her husband was happy at the news, but when she told him she was mistaken and that it was actually a boy, he “freaked out in excitement.”
OP said that his reaction to having a boy was “nothing” like either of the reactions he had to having a girl. He jumped around yelling, called his friends and family, and hugged and swung their daughter around, telling her she was getting a brother.
Not The Expected Reaction
OP confronted her husband about his difference in reactions and asked him why he was more excited about having a boy. He said, “cause I wanted a boy.” OP said she was really angry and now doesn’t want him to be at the baby shower or at the birth.
She said her husband didn’t think she was serious at first but got really upset when he realized she wasn’t kidding.
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The Masses Weigh In
OP was voted to be in the wrong in this situation by Reddit users. Almost everyone sided with her husband.
One Reddit user said that her barring him from the baby shower and birth is a childish punishment. “It’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s not like he was angry about the baby being her girl. He was excited, just not “as excited.” Doesn’t everyone want one of each? Excluding him from the shower and birth is not the answer and is a childish form of punishment.”
Another user shared her own personal experience with this type of situation. “I cried when I found out I was having a girl. I have a shit relationship with my mom and was so scared she wouldn’t love me that I wanted a boy. My daughter is the best human I’ve ever met, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything, but in the moment, I was upset. By the time I had my son, I wanted another girl. Lol. YTA. Just because he’s really excited for a boy doesn’t mean he has a problem with girls. If he’s a good dad and husband then you need to let this go.”
Another user warned OP to not become resentful over this. “You’re being very immature if you don’t let him attend the “baby shower,” or even worse, the birth. I think it’s very likely he wanted a boy because you two already have a girl, not because he never wanted a girl in the family all along (it seems to me you may be getting this kind of idea). You’re making a big deal out of this and your reaction could in fact erode your relationship. Don’t grow resentment over something like this.”
Is OP justified in barring her husband from the baby shower and birth? Should OP’s husband have shown less excitement over having a boy? How would you react in this situation?
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.