Would She Be Wrong to Leave Her Disabled Sister at Home Alone to Go See Her Long Distance Boyfriend?
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What would you do if you had a long distance relationship and you have plans to go see your partner, and all of a sudden you get told you have to stay home to watch your sibling?
That’s what happened to this woman who shared her story of struggling with the decision to leave her disabled sister at home alone or risk ending her long-distance relationship. What would you do?
An Unfair Position
The original poster (OP) says that she is supposed to go visit her long-distance boyfriend in a few days. She is home for a school break, and it is the only time she can go visit him. She has a sister who has a disability, and while she looks to be in her 20s, developmentally, she is only about 10-13 years old.
OP says that she can do a few things on her own such as cook for herself and get dressed, but that she would not know how to handle emergencies. She is also “emotionally needy” and tends to have schizophrenic delusions that she takes medication for.
OP explains that she does most of the care for her sister when she is home because her parents are “useless” when it comes to looking after her.
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A Tough Decision
OP’s dad sprung it on her last minute that he would be going on a work trip the same week that OP would be leaving to see her boyfriend. He stressed how important the trip is and it’s how he is able to financially support OP and her sister’s lives.
He told OP “tough luck” and that she has to stay home with her sister instead of going to see her boyfriend. OP explained that she couldn’t leave her sister with other family, as they are borderline abusive, and she is uncomfortable staying with most of them.
OP considered hiring a babysitter for a week, but her dad shut it down. OP says that she and her boyfriend’s relationship is already strained because of the distance and that she has already canceled on visiting him once for a school-related reason.
He told her last time that if she canceled again, he would have to “seriously reconsider” the relationship because of how “embarrassing” it is to tell his family she isn’t coming. OP wants to leave her sister home by herself and make herself available 24/7 in case there is an emergency, and her sister needs help.
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OP already asked her boyfriend to come to her instead, but he said no and that he had already made plans there that he could not cancel. OP said she asked her sister, and her sister said she was fine staying by herself for a week.
What Others Had to Say:
“your dad should have given you more warning. You should have told him no you are a grown adult with a life and plans. If you said yes and then leave her alone, you’re the hole. So all in all, lose-lose.”
Another added: “I’m so sorry OP. You’re NTA no matter what you do. You’re just a 25 yo trying to live and balance people’s demands – demands that are unfair and not your fault.
You are being expected to put your life on hold because you have a disabled sister and your parents suck. You have a boyfriend who doesn’t understand this dynamic. You love your sister. You’re in a catch-22.”
“I have a disabled cousin. I know what it’s like. But still, it’s not her problem. Her parents are making her choose between her BF and sisters as much as the BF is making her choose between himself and the sister. The parents are the only ones at fault here.”
Is OP responsible for her sister? Was her dad wrong for springing his trip on her at the last minute and expecting her to take care of her sister? What would you do in this situation?
This article was produced and syndicated by Motherhood Life Balance.
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.