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Former Broadcast Journalist turned Author, Paul Faris, has been on “Fox & Friends” this week to discuss her new book “You Don’t Have to Carry It All: Ditch the Mom Guilt and Find a Better Way.”
As the title of the book suggests, it’s all about how mothers in the USA often feel guilty about the fact that they have to work alongside bringing children up. According to Faris, working mothers should not feel that they have to carry it all, a sentiment that everyone can agree with.
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Historically, women have always been seen as the primary caregivers in a family, while men are allowed to go out and pursue a career. However, times are changing, and these social norms are rightfully being challenged in many countries across the world.
The notion of “mom guilt,” however, is something exclusive to American women, according to Faris. Speaking on “Fox and Friends”, she said:
“I think we’ve been conditioned in this country to believe that we have to do it all, we have to carry it all, and that’s why we’re seeing record numbers of burnout among mothers and working mothers in America.
It’s hard to be a mother; it’s harder to be a working Mom in America than anywhere else because of the expectations American society puts on mothers.”
The Process of Writing the Book
When it came to writing the book, Faris decided to interview several parenting experts so that she could provide working moms with the support they needed. She feels that a lot of people are skeptical about the issue of mom guilt and don’t believe it to be true, but that her findings, which are revealed in the book, prove it to be very real indeed.
It was her experiences when becoming a mother in 2018 that inspired her to start the process in the first place. She had to pause her career as a Broadcast Journalist when she gave birth because she felt like it was her responsibility to give her baby her full attention. She said:
“I never felt like I was nailing it, and my mom guilt manifested itself as a constant tension. I felt that I should have been constantly ‘momming’ instead of working, and I wanted to unpack why I felt this guilt.
Globally, moms don’t really have a sense of mom guilt. For example, in some cultures, women take a great amount of pride in working because they have to. The thought of being a stay-at-home mom in other countries is a privilege because they have to work.”
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Requiring Fatherly Support
Faris believes that one way for mothers to get over their ‘mom guilt’ is by receiving better support from their partners. She believes that if men just did something as simple as taking paternity leave when a baby is born, then it would make a huge difference. She added:
“It was really important for me to write a chapter to invite men into the conversation, to address some of the toxic messages that you’ve been hearing.
Men can change the game by taking paternity leave. It will help to strengthen the bond a father has with the child but also to create a dynamic that levels the playing field. By leveling this playing field, mothers perhaps will experience less burnout.”
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As a full-time working mom of three, I know what it’s like to feel like life is out of balance and out of control.
While I don’t have it all figured out, I am committed to sharing helpful tips and tricks with other mommas who are ready to break free from negativity, ditch mom guilt, & finally, live life on their own terms.